Not all men are fixers! & yes, that did get my ming off of the bad stuff. I don't know why he didn't want to show her the turkey on his head....why not have a good laugh about it!
I am all over the place - I think for the first time in my life I'm not level headed or secure. I'm trying to be more introspective to understand why I let this situation and the hurt get out of control.
I had a dream last night about hugging a guy...more than a hug, it was just a really loving hug, I don't even know who it was in my dream but it was sooo nice to just feel loved in my dream. I'm missing affection, embrace and someone to share life with. Someone who lifts me up, is encouraging, someone who wants to put as much into a relationship as I do.
My relationship with STBXH wasn't like that - I actually told him the last time he did something really nice for me was easter a few years ago...he made me coffee before I woke up to get our daughter up. He never got up with her before me, not once. Those things all added up, they all made me feel like I wasn't worth it, or appreciated for anything. Looking back, I didn't even realize how depressed I was. Every day felt like a struggle in a loveless marriage. This is why I don't know why I'm so hurt by everything. Why am I still holding on?
It's not just him either...I have a lot to work on too- I have high expectations, I'm too A-type, goal-oriented, over-worker. He's the opposite...but he was the one that didn't want to try. Some days I feel like he did me a favor, other days I'm crushed. There's no middle ground.
& yes, that did get my ming off of the bad stuff. I don't know why he didn't want to show her the turkey on his head....why not have a good laugh about it!