Ok, here's my super success story. Finally got all the moving done. (moved back in with my mom) During one of the days I spent working at packing and cleaning the other house, H of his own volition asked me out to lunch and took me. (Huge love tank fill) Woke up one morning to H fondling me, H asked if I were up to "helping out" with his not so little problem, (HUGE step for him, saying something) I spent 30 seconds considering and SPARKED. I actually freaking wanted to and felt PASSION, connection, AND DESIRE for my H. Rocked his world and mine too.
Quote: You guys are letting this thread drop...this is pathetic...let's post even "Sort of Super Success Stories" or even "Looks like Success" stories.
AD - Maybe everybody's too busy having sex to post??? (Well, we can only hope.) Speaking of which, I notice you have not posted today so I hope that means your new Kama Sutra kit is getting initiated. On the "good news" front, nothing earthshattering here today, but H has been very affectionate and lovey and even commented how I looked "sexy" (word rarely used by H) in the blouse I wore to church this morning.
Yes, it sucks, but I am enjoying it and plus, he is cheating OW as well, which is good. So what do I care? ML is the only connection that I have with my H. I dunno whether he believes it will last or not, but I've consistently horny for the past four months and he is seeing that I am turning into a porn star , only thing is he said he loves OW so much and cant hurt her feelings or whatever.
No formula, I was originally HD. After birth of two girls; taking contraceptive for four solid years, neglected my diet (I have no weight issue) and underlying issues with H which he couldnt understand (I wasnt stisfied with him not paying attention to our financials, the way he handled the kids, him not spending QT with me, which made we withdrew even further), he ejaculated too quick even before I can enjoy it, too short of a foreplay and I was in pain when ML, thats how I became LD.
I wish I found Michelle's book earlier and start doing something about it, but I didnt. We were busy blaming each other.
Having analysed my previous self, I didnt like myself either so I started changing, maybe not so much of H, but for myself. Like I said, I've stopped my contraceptive entirely, taking proper diet and try to reconnect myself in a womanly manner.
My H noticed my changes, he said he never thought that I could do the sexy things that I am doing wiht him now, he commented about my sexiness and how he will be bothered if I were to ML with any other men (I think this is why he is not D me yet).
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see..
He said he is not, though I am not thoroughly convinced, but what the heck, as if I can do anything about it. The only thing is I do is take precaution. Must be a smart woman, though.
Oh yes, men are pigs. Sorry!
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see..
I think I am ok with it, thats the only connection that I have with my H at the moment. He is slowly contacting me more, and boy, do I gave him something to remember everytime we ML. At times I feel angry, but overall I am pretty tough. Now he is cheating OW, coz he saw me behind her back and everytime she is not in town. He has nothing to hide from me coz I know everything already about his R with OW, and she knows nothing about him seeing and ML to me. Hows that?
LM is his primary LL, I dont know how long more can he live with this arrangement. Can men out there shed some light on this? Does he not feel guilty that he ML to me while involve in a passionate A with OW? I dont understand men!
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see..
BnB, sorry, but I think both you and OW are being taken advantage of. I don't know if he feels guilty or not. It's not just a "guy thing", there are women who also behave this way - they will take what comes along, especially if it is just handed to them. I would think a stronger position for you would be that you will not give him any more until he ends it with OW. Make him choose - don't make it possible for him to "have it all". That doesn't give YOU any power!
Quote: Does he not feel guilty that he ML to me while involve in a passionate A with OW? I dont understand men!
I've been told that as far as the OW is concerned, they do it "without emotional attachment". In my case, H has even told me, out of his own free will, that LM is so much better with me. And that he's been on a "cold spell" with OW. Do I believe him? Probably not, but it's nice to hear it.
Quote: I've been told that as far as the OW is concerned, they do it "without emotional attachment". In my case, H has even told me, out of his own free will, that LM is so much better with me. And that he's been on a "cold spell" with OW. Do I believe him? Probably not, but it's nice to hear it,
OMG, I think you might be married to my ex-husband. He said those EXACT words to me while we were separated-but-having-sex. ::shudder::
On the other hand, I can relate to what you're going through right now. "Separation sex" can be fantastic, since there isn't anything else getting in the way like it does when you're together on a day-to-day basis. Just don't be misled into thinking this is how you're going to get him back. I eventually went back to my now-ex and, 18 months later, found out he was still with the OW. And guess what? We were only back together a few months anyway before the great sex ended and our real problems were sitting there waiting for us again.
Quote: only thing is he said he loves OW so much and cant hurt her feelings or whatever.
If he loves OW so much than why is he being intimate with you behind her back? Are you sure he is not just having his cake and eating it too?
BnB, I think the most important thing in all of these is how being intimate with your H is making YOU feel? We don't know for sure if it will bring him back to you but most importantly YOU must be OK with it. The impact on you should be minimal. YOU should be able to keep your PMA up when he is not with you and at the same time you have to make sure you don't get your hopes too high up when he is with you. Its not an easy task. At the end of the day, do what is BEST FOR YOU because you deserve it or it is what you want but don't do it if you only see it as a means of getting him back or you may be setting yourself up for a disappointment.
On the other hand since you mentioned that his LL is the physical, it may be the only way to stay connected at this particularly difficult time. Only YOU would know based on your personal knowledge of H and your sitch whether this is the right thing to do.
Thanks all for your input. Dont mean to hijack this thread of its super success stories though for an analysis of my situation. But maybe I need more input on this and start my own thread in this forum.
Thanks again all.
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see..
, only thing is he said he loves OW so much and cant hurt her feelings 
or whatever.
Are you sure he is not just having his cake and eating it too?