My Wife Walked Out

[RSG]

Coconut, thank you for the support. It means a lot.

I liked hearing her hurt because it helps make up for all the times I sat and cried while this was going on and I was sad and confused. Yes, I still feel bad for her at times. It was SO hard for me today to not text and ask how camp was going, because I helped her come up with the weekly themes. I consoled her when she freaked out about feeling lost and not being able to do a good job. I pushed her and pushed her to give it her all because I believed in her. But I didn't give in, and I just asked some questions about S and kept it to that.

I sure don't feel strong. I feel like I'm one moment, one picture, one situation away from having another crying fit. Nothing is final now, but I'm losing my desire to reach out because I'm looking at the long term damage of what her selfishness will do. I look at her and see the woman I love, the woman I'm attracted to, the woman I had a baby with. She sounds like the woman I love. But her decisions are insane and she's completely irrational. Maybe I'm too close, and you're right.

I so badly want to have a sit down with her and go over everything, but she'll have to get smacked by SOMETHING so her bullheadedness goes away. But I have a feeling that it won't happen by July and she'll just want to discuss how we split preschool costs, car insurance payments and the like. I miss the woman I love, but I don't like the pod that has taken over her body, mind and soul.