Help My MLC/Nice Guy is a Foreigner!

[jamaica]

Cadet
Thanks for the follow up. You are right. I am having trouble separating LRT from what I need to do as a parent. We (not sure) are moving to a different city and selling a house as well. I find it is far too much interaction. I've been following one of the detachment thread with bigbiz and recognize that I am still too dependent on his moods and plans. However I have come a really long way. It's the process of letting go that I finding paradoxically easier to do than trying to engage emotionally with him. When I was there I was ping-ponging back and forth with his moods. However now honestly I am uncertain how we could ever build any kind of R with the amount of distance emotional and physical now between us. I recognize from reading and re-reading posts that this is not in my control. It so feels that I have lost this war to OW and lost to 50%+ of people that end their marriages in divorce, give up, allow their families to dissolve etc. I know that the natural response should be what am I fighting for? This guy who won't live out his commitment is lost in a fog of selfishness etc. On my good days I think that way and I do well. On my bad, I blame myself for choosing very poorly and subjecting my children to this trauma. Today I'm a little sadder. I need to do more to GAL. Although if you knew me you'd say you are doing plenty. Today it seems counterintuitive to do so much without your "life partner". No connection is what he complained about, somedays particularly when I am sadder it seems like I am confirming his complaints and going along with his desire to be rid of me. However it is a 180 to how I was for the last 6-9 months, begging, pleading demanding, complaining and then being overly nice and compliant constantly apologizing etc.