How are you showing, or plan to show her, that you are not dependent upon the R?
By becoming more independant. I mean, I already am, but I'm determined to continue on. Not sure she is sold on it yet. Doesn't really matter right now for me. She has already mentioned how good I'm looking from working out. In the past, I would start slacking once people started noticing. Not this time.
Emotionally/intimately, I'm honestly not sure, as she has admitted to having her own problems with that, so not much I can do with a brick wall. I can only make myself better in that department. Over the past 8 months, I have went to great lengths to become a more open, carefree person. And I'm doing it for myself, not to save my current M, but to be emotionally available in any future R/M, with her or anyone else.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
What about doing things to get brownie points? Have any tendencies there? Walk around on eggshells? Watching her moods, to decide what you do? Do you try to keep her in a good mood?
I fully admit that I used to. I used to bend over backward trying to figure out dinners, go grocery shopping, setup any activities, make sure nothing was wrong, eggshell city basically.
When we first split (when I left to go live at my Dads in October), after she changed her mind and wanted me back home, it immediately went back to that. I was trying to convince myself that I was more caring now, but looking back, I got nothing on her end, and I should never have moved back in. But I'm done dwelling on the past, that's another thing I'm changing about myself. Well, trying to
Right now though, I do not care what kind of mood she is in. I am giving her no special treatment. We are still cordial, but what I was doing before (as well as her) was wrong and not the way a marriage is suppose to work. If that's what she thinks, then it'll never work out. But I can't change her, only myself.
