I do NOT however think it's normal for women (especially mothers) to be attracted to men that are selfish, drink too much, lie, cheat, and would rather go out with the guys than spend time with the family.
This was a trend I noticed when I was much younger. The girls seemed more interested in the burn-outs than the smart guys.
I still don't know what my xW is up to... But there is the "affair down" thing that we hear about so often. She preferred loser friends, more like friends she had before we met. And her previous boyfriends were definitely the lying/cheating/drinking type. I was not her type.
Originally Posted By: BluWave
It sounds like you have been burned. I am sorry, that is harsh. I can't imagine your W would just want someone you describe; on some level she must not feel that she deserves better.
I "feel" burned.
That's an interesting statement... to leave a M because she deserves better, but then settles because she doesn't? Maybe she'd rather a puppy?
My xW was (or thinks she was) the nice one. She has made statements about that she felt controlled, she didn't know who she was, she felt like a servant not my equal, she was too nice, etc. She lost herself trying to become something she is not (without actually telling me that), and resented me for it. I told her happiness comes from within.
Originally Posted By: BluWave
If your W would rather be with a dirtbag, then quite simply, you will find over time that you don't want someone like that. You deserve a woman that values you and your strong suits. Sometimes our sitches are so strikingly obvious, we can't accept it--because we don't want to.
So true... like I said I don't know what she is up to, I would "like" to believe there's no A.
Ironic, I have gotten more feedback in other people's thread on my sitch than my own thread... I need to stop hijacking.
I am so sorry you had to go through this. I am so happy for you that you got to the piecing level, and I wish you the best for however it works out for you. At least if it ends, you can do so on good terms, knowing you gave it your all.
