Thanks for the honest opinion. Honestly, it means a lot. In my sitch, part of what I did wrong was promising to do things, and then backed out or they went on the backburner, never to be done until she complained about it. This is something, along with many others, that I have changed and continue to progress toward.

I'm deep into a 180 and she has noticed, though I know she isn't convinced yet. Quick bullet on WHAT I've been doing:

-becoming more active (lots of working out, dropping weight for muscle)
-taking up things I've always wanted to do (riding a motorcycle, awesome btw)
-doing things around the house with the need to be asked
-NOT pressuring her with R talk whatsoever
-Reconnecting with friends that I haven't seen in a while
-Generally, being is great mood (this stems from exercising for me)
-Allowing myself to feel the pain of the situation, but to not dwell on it
-Getting back to playing more music (a great stress reliever)
-Going to IC for myself, not for the benefit of the MR
-Showing her that I'm not dependant on the R, its a want, not a need
The list goes on, but you get the idea.



I am a man of my word, so I will help her move. What she won't expect is me not allowing her access to the house after Saturday. And past that, I will initiate zero contact with her.

She has kept asking about where I go whenever I get home, and finally told her, without being rude, that it's none of her business right now. She was mad and said "I'll never ask what you're doing again", almost like a threat. Not really, it wasn't malicious, but it was kind of like I was suppose to be upset that she doesn't care where I am.

Right now, she is really grasping at straws as to reasons to validate her leaving me. 6 months ago, she most definitely had reasons. Now, there isn't a single one, and I know it is getting to her.

But above all else, the changes I've made to myself, have been FOR myself. And that feels pretty good and I'm confident that whichever way this lands, I'm gonna end up with my feet firmly planted in the ground.

I will have missteps but I will do my best to vent here and keep any resentments/anger/sadness to myself and this forum.