This is a success story thread where we can post any progress we make. It can only contain stories that will cheer us up and motivate us and can be anything from a baby step to a "yippeee we're both HD". The challenge is to keep it at the top of the forum and not let it fall away.
I'll start it off by saying that my H gave me a lovely cuddle for no apparent reason last night and I'm still enjoying the memory today. SD
I made a typo in my original post and said that I got a cuddle from my H so it looks as though I've "come out" and I guess if I lived in California I could have an H but actually it's rather confusing for me because my W is also my H and I am constantly having to re-read my posts to make sure I've used her status (W) instead of her initial (H). So if you read a post from me whare I'm refering to my H it is actually my W and I have not gone over to the other side. I hope that makes as much sense to you as it does to me. SD
Great thread! (And I didn't notice the H until you pointed it out.)
I do have one small "yay" to post about. Last night I told my LD H about the SSM book and he even allowed me to read him the front/back flap info on Amazon.com (in the past he most certainly would have been too tired or too busy or too "whatever" to have this read to him). Then he said he was glad I'd ordered it. Today he sent me a beautiful e-mail from work about how committed he is to doing whatever it takes to make this work for us. I'm feeling the first stirrings of - dare I say the word? Hope.
Huge changes in our marriage over the last 6 years. We've gone from a negative, harsh, blaming marriage with very fierce fights to a positive, supportive one. We're doing a lot better at living by the values we have always espoused with our mouths. My wife has found rewarding work outside the home helping abused children in the court system.
Our children have turned out great.
My wife has become very open to quality time, and has recently decided to be willing to reopen the sex question.
And I've found a community here where I can talk openly about things that I simply can't share with anyone else. That in itself is a huge success.
Don't know if I'd call it "super" or not but I do consider my m to be a success. Yes I still complain about some things but all in all my h and I are in a much better place than we were a year ago. Just two years ago at this time h decided he couldn't "do this anymore" he loved me but wasn't "in love" with me, moved out, wanted a divorce, we only saw or spoke to eachother when he'd come to visit the kids and even then it was often just in passing, he'd arive and I'd depart comming home when he'd put the kids in bed then he'd go off to his apartment. He has been home now for over a year and though he's not as sexual as I think I might like there is no doubt he loves me and isn't going anywhere again.
Before he left I'd complain a lot about the ssm issue as most of you know that's a seemingly endless battle. While he was gone I spent alot of time on this bb (in other forums) and thinking about m and relationships in general. I heard and read about the five love languages and all about expectations and assumptions. I realized that though h wasn't always showing his love for me in ways that I easily felt or appreciated he always did show me in his own ways. It still isn't always easy for me to appreciate or hear his way but it's there and the more attention I pay the more I notice.
I don't know if our libido's will ever totally match but I've realized that there is much more to a marriage than sex.
but for "super success" story status on this thread I suppose I should say that I got me some this weekend and didn't have to initiate at all.
Oh, LL, that IS a Super Successs Story ('SSS'). {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ lostlove }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I think maybe you should change your handle to.. foundlove! At the very least, you have found love in your heart for H, who seems to have treated you VERY badly. That is a MAJOR success. We could all learn a lot from you!
LM was way out of the question tonight because I've been dealing with a stomach bug. I don't feel like it and she definitely doesn't want to catch this.
But, when W got up to go to bed, we were having flirty talk and she jokingly groped me and said "I can see you're package". Whahoo!.
Anyway, this thread was long overdue. There's been so much hopelessness talk around here about LDs never changing etc. It's really going to make a big difference in my outlook to not imagine everyone in such dire situations.
"I choose happiness!" (a quote from Mrs. AD that I'm supposed to tell myself daily).
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
