Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 2

[PsySara]

Doodler,
That is exactly the crux of the situation. I know I need to shore up my issues and short comings. I've been reading voraciously, watching videos, getting coaching and going to IC. Now as far as the M goes I feel I have hit a sort of wall. I am waiting at the dock for my H's ship to steer towards me and start the work of fixing our R. He does none of the work and instead lives away from his family 75% of the time. When he's here he barely speaks to me and won't even engage in R discussions. I have been very careful not to pursue or start the conversations myself as that was my mistake previously. I am getting tired of waiting and may soon just drop the hammer on this "marriage."

SH,
I am spending too much time ruminating. I am such an impatient person by nature and feel H isn't even progressing at a snail's pace. He appears to be in the same mental picture he was shortly after d-day. This infuriates me. If he were the betrayed spouse it would make sense but he isn't. Maybe he is answering the question I am asking, "Do you want this marriage?" His answer appears to be, "No." I am deciding if I can wait any longer or if I should just give up any hope of him growing beyond this mental adolescence.

I've done a good job of GAL in spite of the challenges of raising three small children almost single handed. I have been moving forward with my own plans and accomplishing major life goals all without his support or help. DBing has been a fairly useful tool with refocusing me on myself and self care but I honestly don't feel it's been successful at getting H to realize what he's losing. How can he change if his coping mechanism is to avoid responsibility/discomfort at all costs? I am on the cusp of just giving up and telling him pointblank that I am ready to end this marriage.