Toast - burnt or just right

[rich4j]

So the last few weeks have been tough. I thought I was on the path to "OK" or getting better as the prior 3-4 weeks I was not missing our former R (even though living in the same house still!) and things with daughter were good.

But I am stuck in a rut. Does this happen alot to those going through this? I am on month 5 since she filed while we still live together.

I continue to have the silly thoughts that one night we are going to talk and she is going to break down and say this is stupid lets figure this out! Then I say to myself "Myself...could I even reconcile at this point and try to move forward with her?". Part of me says try try try for me and my daughter and the other me says time to move on and see how things heal first. Then I snap out of it and that fantasy is just that...a fantasy.

I think there is a direct correlation with GAL'ing or lack thereof and going back to the comfort zone of my STBX. My GALing hit a slump the last week or 2. I feel so sad sometimes when in this slump and like a big loser. Not sure if any of you do this but I constantly now look around at others to see if they have rings on, do they look happy, how are they still married? It drives me nuts.

I know its impacting my daughter as she has been acting out a bit at school as she got into it with one of her best friends and told me she was very angry the other day at both of us. She would not say why but just pouted.....she doesn't know yet but she knows something is up. Anyone with young kids go through this and did their children get thru it oK?

I started to read Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce.....and some of the things are spot on. They say the Crazy Time can last at least up to 2 years which I don't think I can take if I have another year of this....