Living with the soon to be ex MIL - working full time, going to school at night and starting a nursing program in January.
We saw each other at the end of April and it was awful. There's clearly just nothing left for him - zero feelings. His main concern is that when he finds someone else I won't be as nice anymore and I'll resent him...
as I type that, I'm kicking myself for feeling the way I do. Really, typing it out puts it into perspective. As if he needs my permission to go off and live his life, when I know he could really care less about my opinion. He told me he ONLY wants me to be happy. Anyone that's read these threads know it clearly didn't look that way - which he said he regrets.
I don't know anymore - I don't know what I'm feeling, I don't know what to do, I don't know what I want...I just know I don't want this. I wanted us to work. I wanted him to try. I don't want to lose him, but I just don't know that anything could ever be enough after this. I hold onto hope that someday we'll get back together and be better than ever...
but I don't think he wants that and I can't want it for the both of us.
