Let me just say this. I have NEVER laid a hand on my wife in my life, I SWEAR on my children. I have NEVER verbally threatened ANYONE, much less my own family. My problem is this - when I am stressed out and feel that I am not getting my point across, I raise my voice. I do this unconsciously. Sometimes people ask me - why are are you angry? and I’m not angry. I am just trying to make sure that someone is hearing what I’m saying. Again - I am not a violent guy, I have never laid a hand on anyone in my life, much less my wife.
When I return home, there is a police car parked outside. The doorman asks me - is everything ok? The police are going to your house. I go upstairs and the police are talking to my wife. She is telling them
-I am making her uncomfortable because I am raising my voice and yelling at her (if anything, I raised my voice but I was yelling at myself for being so stupid ‘Oh my god I can’t believe this is happening’) -I ‘was standing in the bathroom door’ while i was talking to her. She felt that I might have been blocking her way and she felt threatened. (This is just unbelievable) -I left my kid alone in the house (again. I am dumb. I made a huge mistake with this)
The police tell me in situations like this, they have to separate us. They are going to take wife and kids to a hotel. I try to calm everyone down. I try to defend myself. I say, please just calm down. My wife can stay here. I will leave and go back to my brothers. Just please tell my wife to call me later so we can sort this out. I leave and go back to my brothers and bang my head on the wall the rest of the night. In the morning I text her and apologize profusely and ask her to talk. No response other than ‘I need space’. The next day two policemen show up at my brothers house. They serve me with a ‘temporary court order of protection’. The temporary court order of protection lasts for 3 weeks and it says I can’t go back to the house, I can’t see my wife or my kids. I can’t contact my wife or kids. There is a hearing on June 3, at the end of the third week - at which time, if my wife decides to have a hearing to make it a ‘permanent court order of protection’ - I may not be able to see my kids for up to 2 years, and it will go on a ‘background check’ which may prevent me from applying for jobs. The cops look at me in sympathy, they tell me they can tell I’m not a violent guy. They tell me that the court hands these orders out like candy, and that they have seen wives strangled and battered - but in my case, I’m getting a bum deal. This is small consolation to me, as you would imagine.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
