Detachment, anxiety and the end of limbo

[Phoebe]

Today has been kind of a tough day so far. Now that my brother has headed home, and all the family activities are over, I'm back to my own messy life, and I'm feeling sad. I had to take Xanax this morning to combat an oncoming wave of grief and emotion. I should just have let it come, but I had plans for the day and couldn't spare the time to grieve.

I met a new acquaintance this morning and we went on a really nice hike for a couple hours, taking time out to identify trees as we went along. I really enjoyed having another person along who shares my interest in knowing what's around me. Since we're just starting to get to know each other a little bit, I gave her a very brief overview of my story.

I talked to my therapist after that and everything felt very raw, like my grief was just under the surface for the whole hour. Well, it's really been there since yesterday morning, but I had plenty of distractions until today. I don't know why it should bother me so much that H took OW camping in our beautiful bus, but it hurts me very much.

So, it's been a day so far. I have to work on my grief homework this evening. I need to do it, but I already feel crummy without digging into the wound some more.