This was at the beginning of last month. My wife had asked me to leave the house, and I am sleeping on my brother’s couch. My brother lives only a block away from us fyi. I am going back to the house every day to help out - I take the kids to and from school, I walk the dog, I clean the house and do laundry. I go back to sleep at my brothers at night. We schedule an appointment with a marriage counselor - we cannot get an appointment for two weeks, until the middle of the month. She will not talk to me about relationship issues until we are at the therapist appointment. Communication is very business like, mainly logistics about picking up the kids. She tries to stay out of the house when I’m there. When we’re there together it’s like I’m walking on eggshells. One day I am helping my daughter with her homework, but we are not finished by the time she gets home. She is angry at me because I did not finish her homework with her on time, and asks me to leave. Another day I stay a little bit longer to finish cleaning the house. She comes home and is angry at me because I told her I would be gone by the time she got back. I am doing everything wrong. I keep pressing relationship issues, she tells me to give her space and refuses to talk until we are at the counselors. Every day it seems like she is growing more angry, that she is looking for more things to be angry at me about. The more I press her, the more irritated she gets. I begin to feel resentment that I’m the one who has to leave the house every day while life is unchanged for her while she ‘sorts it out’.
One day she goes out of town for two days on a business trip. I stay at the house to take care of the kids. On the second day I pick up my daughter from school in the afternoon. At 5pm my wife will be back home, at 5pm I have to pick my son up from preschool. I am worried about picking my son up from preschool on time - if he is not picked up by the time she gets home I know my wife will be mad. I make a very big mistake. My daughter is on the couch, using my phone to watch youtube videos. When I tell her we have to leave to pick up her brother - she throws a tantrum. My son’s preschool is 5 minutes from my house. I tell my daughter - ok stay here, I will be back in 5 minutes with your brother. I pick up her brother and return 5 min later. When we get back, my daughter is still on the couch watching youtube videos on my phone. She looks up and tells me - ‘Dad while you were gone mom was calling - I told her you left me alone while you went and picked up my brother’. Huge mistake. I know. I am dumb, I will always regret that decision. I am so emotionally worked up that I keep making stupid decisions. My wife returns shortly after. She is very angry. She tells me get out. I try to explain myself, I try to get her to talk. I tell her I’m not leaving until you talk to me, she tells me just get out. I am running around the house going ‘Oh my god what just happened’. I’m in panic mode, and pleading with my wife to talk and work it out. She tells me to get out.
Finally I calm myself down and say ‘ok I’ll leave, just please call me later’. Halfway to my brothers house I turn around and decide to try to talk to her one more time. When I arrive at my condo there is a police car parked outside.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
