suzyblue, my Xh and I have been Divorced for just over two years. You asked...
Quote: When you ex about where he is going, or who with--does he tell you???
The funny thing is that I don't ask him where he is going or who he is with. I try to give him space and so far is seems to work. 99% of the time he tells me before he goes out and calls me atleast once while he is out on the town. I simply wish him a good night then go on with my evening. He confuses me at times because I'm not sure if he tells me his where abouts to be courtious or if it is simply an excuse to check up on me. I don't know, I gave up that guessing game a while back. I just try to think positive about the situation.
As far as your question about them going out with us as if we were a couple then acting like completely different people when we are not around or when they are with other people is beyond my knowledge. The only thing I can imagine is that our S's or in your and my case XH's are just confused little boys. Not knowing which toy they want to play with at the present time. If anyone else has other theorys please let me know.
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
My week went well. I have to say that I am rather happy about work. I received my review Wednesday and my boss said a milion great things about me. Really stroked my ego, It is wonderful to be appreciated. I was so psyched about it when Xh called that evening he noticed my great mood radiating throught the phone. When I told him how my day was he sounded just as proud of me as my boss did. Xh gave me wonderful compliments and he told me how wonderful he thought I was, and he told me how much he appreciates me. WOW these are things I tell him and now he is telling me how much he appreciates me. What a wonderful feeling!
The following things are the things I have stopped doing while I have been going gray... I quit calling him in the morning, I do not answer ever one of his phone calls (every other one is more like it), I quit talking about the house we were planning on buying together, and I have continued to stay as far away from his sitch with XOw andthe sell of "their" house. I have also not brought up the convo about moving to his side of town when my lease is up in august.
Thursday night Xh calls in a rage. Jesus christ this man was livid. XOw after 2+ months of not living in "their" house decides she is going to move back into the house (her arguement is that it is her house too!) (Very true but who cares! okay that was ugly, sorry) She tells him that he needs to move into the spare bedroom "TONIGHT" and basicially that she is running things around there again. I have to say I am proud of him for standing his ground as telling her that she can not just come in there after being gone for over two months and tell him what he is going to do and so on. She also brings in this stray cat Xh did not like this one bit, he was not a happy camper about this cat. I listened and validated his complaints but the truth be known I would have done the same thing with the cat. (I love animals and I have a soft heart expecially for strays)
Friday Xh went out with his single buddy, he called me before he left and gave me the info about his plans for the night. Today I woke up early went to the pool and layed out for a while came back home and took a nap. Xh called and woke me up from my nap (what a great way to wake up ) When he talked yesterday he asked me if I had plans for saturday and that he wanted to come to my side of town and take me to lunch, spend the day with me. We he arrived at my apartment I was in my room finishing up getting ready. I swear he looked at me like it was the first time he had ever seen me and that he was mesmerized at how beautiful I was. He kissed me and it made me weak in the knees, he hugged me so strongly, he was the man I fell in love with all over again. The alien is teasing me, giving me bits and pieces of my love. We had a wonderful lunch and then went to the sporting goods store to look at fishing poles. He had plans to go deep sea fishing with the boys that night. I live very close to the ocean and I am glad he spent the afternoon with me knowing he was spending the evening with the boys.
Things seem to be looking up, I am going to continue to be gray, atleast for a while. It seems to be working thus far.
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Hi Halo - Boy what a rollercoaster! For you, as well as XH with the recent drama trama from XOW You must be looking better all the time, with this latest round of pressure from OW.
Quote: Things seem to be looking up, I am going to continue to be gray, atleast for a while. It seems to be working thus far.
This must be testing your patience, after the wonderful progress of a few weeks ago. But I totally agree, one must continue with what works. GO YOU!!! Slowly
well, look on the bright side--he kissed you! since you have been d for 2 yrs. have you ever dated anyone else? and what a roller coaster ride you are on. You are doing so well with your patience listening to ex complain about XOW and I think he apreciated it. I hope you had a nice lunch!!!
Slowly and Suzyblue, thanks for checking in on me.
The roller coaster ride continues, XH has been very attentive since Saturday. We have had a lot of fun chats which is great. He is going through a tough time right now with the sitch and the house, he told me that he told XOw to just stay gone, he would figure out how to pay the difference between what he contributes and what he contributes. I guess this is good but it sure does put a hell of a strain on him emotionally and financially. He has been so stressed out for the past few months about money and that house, I am not sure if it was such a great idea for him to tell her he did not want her to move back into the house and be his "room mate" for financial reasons, that he would just take care of the diff. URGH, it upsets me because I see how this sitch is effecting him.
More bad news to add to the sitch... Xh was involved in a wreck this morning, granted it was not his fault but he did total out his vehicle. His was the only vehicle involved, he is okay (Thank God!), this just adds one more thing to his list of bad things that have happened. He is worried his insurance will not pay off his vehicle because he owes more than what is it worth, I have no idea how this works, not ever being in a sitch (knock on wood). Does the insurance company pay off the vehicle infull? What happens to the extra amount of your car loan that the insurance does not cover if totaled? Do they tack it on to the price of the new vehicle you buy? If anyone knows anything please let me know.
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Insurance... it's not good news for the sitch you described. My sister has had personal experience with the same circumstance. When they total out the car, it is for the blue book value for the make and year. You still have to pay on the loan even though you don't have the car to show for it.
When they haul it away (they are paying you for your totaled hunk of junk--which they typically sell for salvage), they cut a check to the insured for that amount. You are responsible for the old debt as well as the procurement of a new vehicle.
It stinks.
I hope this helps.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
glad your H is okay! stress and more stress!!!! well, hopefully everything will get straightened out soon. Sometimes insurance companies drag their feet, but hopefully everything will get resolved soon
these are things I tell him and now he is telling me how much he appreciates me. What a wonderful feeling! 
) When he talked yesterday he asked me if I had plans for saturday and that he wanted to come to my side of town and take me to lunch, spend the day with me. We he arrived at my apartment I was in my room finishing up getting ready. I swear he looked at me like it was the first time he had ever seen me and that he was mesmerized at how beautiful I was. He kissed me and it made me weak in the knees, he hugged me so strongly, he was the man I fell in love with all over again. The alien is teasing me, giving me bits and pieces of my love. We had a wonderful lunch and then went to the sporting goods store to look at fishing poles. He had plans to go deep sea fishing with the boys that night. I live very close to the ocean and I am glad he spent the afternoon with me knowing he was spending the evening with the boys. 
You must be looking better all the time, with this latest round of pressure from OW. 
URGH, it upsets me because I see how this sitch is effecting him.