Separating to pieces (hopefully)

[Jb9140]

Default Judgment

When the non-petitioning spouse fails to answer the petition, the court will generally assume that the spouse agrees to the terms included on the petition -- which can include property division, child custody, spousal support, and other demands made by the petitioning spouse -- and enter a default judgment.

From internet, but I truly don't know.

[mvgfwd2]

If that is the case then I suppose a response is required. Time for your L and you to protect your interests.

[Jb9140]

Yes, I'm talking to my lawyer tomorrow @2:00. No way I'm getting caught with my pants down Twice.

[mvgfwd2]

I missed something. Did she file a petition or just ask you to talk with her lawyer? If a petition was file with the court then you do need to respond. But until something is filed you really don't need to do much. That is what I meant by letting her do the work for a D. Let her do the petition filing. At least if you don't want the D. That's a discussion for you and your L about strategy and your rights, etc.

[betterm]

Shooey, I just re-read a lot of your story as your chimed in on the "joining me in LRT" earlier. I think you were definitely bouncing back and forth a little bit, but you have the right ideas...

No more offering money to the W though (ha). If she wants out of the M, that's fine, but you should only really be concerned with the immediate needs, safety, and care of you and your children. She'll need to learn how to take care of herself.

Take it with a grain of salt, but I wouldn't give her, or offer, anything to her. BUT I DONT HAVE A CUSTODY BATTLE in my situation. So I'm not really sure how that works out. If you make her rage now, what's the result of how she'll go after you in the D?

I wouldn't really bring up anything with her life at all anymore. If she mentions no money to the kids, ignore it. Just let your kids know that "don't worry, I'll always have plenty of food over here for you all", HAHA.

Seriously, as long as your kinds are starving, or malnourished, let her figure out her own problems. Get on with your GAL, LRT, and take care of you man. But definitely, go see that Lawyer asap.

[Cristy]

Hello Jb9140,

Listen to Betterm and mvgfwd2 when they say you should consult your lawyer regarding any petition issues. Give your lawyer the business card from her lawyer because you don't need it since you won't be contacting her lawyer directly.

Please remember that your lawyer is only interested in protecting your assets, not in helping you reconcile.

The best advice I can give you is to call a Divorce Busting Coach today. Many of your online friends will agree that Divorce Busting coaches will give you the best advice on how to save your marriage and keep your family together. Please call me to discuss our coaching program 303-444-7004

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004

[Jb9140]

Looks like I'll be joining surviving the BIG D soon hopefully. Just got all the details from my lawyer. The petitioner (My Wife) as she be referred to now has asked for the following.
Alimony, child support, full custody of children, the house and cars, and I pay all legal bills. I mean I know a little about negotiating tactics, BUT REALLY!!!

I'm in utter disbelief that this person is the same person I married.

I appreciate all the great advice I've been given here. it has helped immensely in me surviving this roller coaster. I hope that everyone listen to the vets on this board, especially Sandi. They know what they're talking about.

At this point it all about saving and protecting myself and my children.

[sandi2]

I think they always ask for way more than they know they'll get. Even if she didn't, I think her lawyer would encourage it........just in case your were crazy enough to give it to her.

[rich4j]

JB

Going thru the same thing right now with a daughter near the same age.

Good advice here. It's hard to dis-engage with your WAW in the financial piece but you really have to look at it as a business transaction. My STBX has been stone cold mean and ruthless and has put her interests before our daughter which I won't do. Only give in where you know it truly will help your children.

My L has guided me through this hell but I have also read up quite a bit on ... Sad that there is such a site but there are some forums there too for advice if needed.

[Jb9140]

Oh yeah, this is definitely about lawyer tactics. I just wish they hadn't kicked the beehive down the hall at me. I truly am a nice guy, and don't want to put things out there, that would not favor my wife. Unfortunately, they may force my hand, and if they do, they're not going to like somethings I may divulge.

Right now they are just trying to get a rise out of me. especially serving me on our wedding anniversary. I don't believe that's coincidental. They are wanting me to say or send something nasty to my wife, for ammunition on record.

I will in know way use my kids in this game they've started, but from her on out this will be adversarial. which I was hoping to avoid.