Some days are better than others

[EDF]

I kinda hit my threshold at that that point and broke DB a bit and called her on it.

It REALLY bothers me when people make statements like the one above. What the heck do you think DBing is anyway? Do you see DBing as being a mouse who sits back and allows his WW to continue to rant and spew, while you say, "Yes, Dear,........anything you say, Dear". So standing up like a man who has some guts is breaking DB?

She was still agitated, but backpedaled quite a bit, which was nice for a change... Normally I'm the one trying to backpedal my way out of conflicts

Yeah, well she would back peddle more.....which would continue to be nicer for you, if you stopped allowing her to do this cr@apping stuff. Don't you realize that a woman will act this way to only one kind of man? Figure it out!

Thanks for the 2x4. I think I may be too hung up on trying to validate what she says. I think I struggle with knowing when it is ok to not validate and how to handle it without falling back into my old behavior of getting defensive/trying to change her mind. As I understand it, validation is about recognizing that whatever the person is feeling are their legit feelings and it's important to recognize the validity of their feelings even if I disagree with them.

So, often WW says something that I disagree with, and I try to validate - in my mind to acknowledge that that is what she is feeling, without saying I agree with it, and without trying to correct her "wrong" view point.

It's clear to me that I have to learn to do better here. How do I still recognize the authenticity of her feelings while pointing out what she is saying is one-sided bullshit? Or is that a false dichotomy and I should have handled it completely differently?

Could I ask how you would have handled her statements? This is something I really want to do better at!