Hi Jim, I have spent a lot of today writing down how I see things from her PoV. I have learnt and seen all the hurt I have caused her. I actually started to write a letter that I don't know if I will give her. I have seen me through her eyes and do feel horrible about it. One of my biggest issue was inconsistency over the past years, I had so many loving tendencies, she even mentioned this before leaving, but was losing my temper and over reacting to things. I can say I was burnt out or depressed or the like but I still was that way.
I think spending the day looking through her eyes has led to more frustration with myself, and also why I'm frustrated that I can't just let go of my own hurt and reach her on her emotional level. I know sending a letter would be against DBing right now, hence why I want to write it but not send it.
She still got to me this weekend, again frustrated with myself with the slip up. I also think some of my frustration is her dealing with the kids. S7 wanted her to come to his soccer yesterday but she declined. I didn't ask why.
