Imagine trying to entice a scared little kitty to come to you. Scared little kitty is well, scared and wary. And is torn between wanting to trust you and all the goodness that you seem to offer, and the fear that you may not be what you seem to be.
For all their waywardness, I do believe that they feel pain. I have seen the pain in the x and he has also told me of his confusion. We may never understand their logic but in their own warped universe, they are also capable of pain.
This pain makes them scared little kitties.
I feel that your H is confused and in pain. He's a scared little kitty. See if you can get scared little kitty to come to you first.
Boundaries will probably work better if kitty can sense that they are coming from a place of love.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
