Halo, Look back to where things were before and where you are now. You have made great strides. Be patient and don't rush it. I know you feel like you are giving in to what ever he wants. But isn't that what we have been showing them all this time. We forgive them and validate what they say and do and I think it is perceived by them that we are giving them everything they want. We don't argue or discuss the R and then when we get some acceptance we try to let them know more of what we want and need to talk about. if they are not ready then they step back again.
I think they have to be fully committed to doing whatever it takes to have that R with us. It doesn't sound like your H is really ready to commit. He has to realize what is uncomfotable for and staop it at least for a while. i believe they think since we have been so nice and showing "as-if" that they can just come back and things will be great. That is what scares me about acting "as if" and pretending nothing bothers us. When we get to the point of getting back together and we voice our concerns they say this didn't bother you before.
i may be wrong on all this, but these are concerns I have.
