If he was willing to start something with you while he was still married that should have been a huge red flag to you as to his character. What he has been doing to you is just him being himself. He's done it before, he'll do it again. If you want to be healthy I recommend you get as far away from him as you can. Cheating and lying is a big part of who he is.
Your post just showed up between my last two... strange lag going on.
At first, we were merely friends - mutual support in difficult times. I wanted nothing more. He was very convincing about them being separated in-house - but I got concerned and broke off contact because I didn't like what was going on. My instincts were probably spot on, as they also have been for the last several years, but I didn't listen to them as I should have.
The fact that he moved out while we were not in contact for 3 months convinced me that his M was over independently of me. I did not want to live with him until he was D, and that we disagreed on. He didn't see the need too wait, that was all my boundary.
He was in a difficult situation with a mentally ill wife and was concerned about leaving the children in her care. I felt a lot of sympathy and compassion for him. He went there after work every day to feed the children dinner and clean up the house because his wife was mostly sleeping during the day. My stepdaughter has told me how she had to climb up on counters to search for breakfast for herself and her younger sibling because their mother didn't feed them.
So it was a heartbreaking situation with more shades of gray than black and white, but also red flags I should have taken seriously. He appealed to the rescuer and fixer in me, which is what I'm working on in ACA.
It's hard to see an unfamiliar pattern when it's ahead of you - I am much wiser in retrospect!
