Its not too late!

[mylittlehalo]

nitaf- Thanks for responding. By the way where is your new thread now a days?

I have no idea if he wants a little free time or if he is confused, or if he is just testing me, there is always the possibility he is having second thoughts.

I continuously explained to him how I understand his feelings, how I think it is a great idea for him to figure out who he is, I even suggested he get a self-help book. I am trying very hard to be as supportive as I can be.

I, like many of you, had this transitional time, I had the time to figure out who the me with out him was. And this in turn made me a better person. The thing that gets me the most is that we had this discussion when we first talked about getting back together, I asked him if he needed to take time to figure this out. He told be absolutely not, he knew he wanted to be with me and that he wanted to work on our R & possible M. I know things change, dont get me wrong I believe it is a great idea for him to "spread his wings" (for lack of better words), and get to know himself again. The only problem I have with this is that I feel as though we should have had this conversation earlier. It's a respect thing and here I feel like a fool thinking things are going along a certain path then they take a nose dive.

Another problem I face is that he wants his space, which I am respecting, but yet he still acts like we are a couple. Asking me and questioning me about my whereabouts and such.

Now there are two reasons I can think of for him being so whishy washy... 1. Most obvious I think. He is confused, he wants the time to spread his wings but does not want to loose me. 2. Not as obvious. He has something going on and thats why he is accusing me of doing what I am not doing.
I know, I know... Halo, dont ASSume!

For Goodness sake, he has always been able to get ahold of me, he knows basicially everything I do, he on the other hand has gone days with out returning my calls, He does not let me know what he is doing or where he is going. Granted most of the time I do not ask but hello what is the real issue?

The questions about me being with someone else really gets to me. I wanted to tell him "look, you have no idea what I have gone through and how misreable I have been with out you, how hard I have worked on becoming a better person not only for myself but for the slim chance we would have another chance at "US", do you really thing I would screw up this chance I have worked and prayed so hard to have?
And how there is nothing more important in my life than to be happy and in love with the love of my life, how I have had day dreams of how wonderful our R & M will be, I am in a much better place in my life, I know what I want and I know together we can have a R & M that will forever grow, we have the resources at hand that will ensure we have an everlasting love, the kind of R & M on lookers will see and say "I want to be loved like that couple loves each other". "
There is so much I want to share with him, I want him to be in every aspect of my life. I have to continue to stay strong and not give up on my dreams. Although it is very hard right now. All I want to do is cry.