I am a romantic I believe in love. I will love again, I will take that risk. It's important to me to do that. From that which I know now then I very much doubt my next choice will be a failure. If it is it will be for new reasons. I will ensure I am never abused again.
Zues, you are entitled to your views, I am unsure having such strong opinions on Rs is helpful to you in an R or M. Judgement of others and yourself is a tough gig, it's hard to live under a strong spotlight. I am more a live and let live type which allows me to tolerate a wider variety of friends. I couldn't be in an R which prevented me from having male friends, I have male friends of all ages and some of these have been friends for 30 years. There is no risk there at all. I have one male friend who would like an R with me and I said no. I am not tempted that friendship is too valuable to me. Waywards don't tend to have As with these types of friends anyway, they prefer sparkly inappropriate and new.
XWH had very strong judgements on just about everything, how I loaded the dishwasher, pasta, my clothes, alcohol, meat with bones......
It is very tough to live with that level of judgement. Even someone so easy going as V feels judged constantly against some impossible standard.
I find you interesting and your thoughts inspiring on many things. You are a kind and generous man with the newbies here. You are tough on yourself and your partners or so it seems in your writing. I personally would like Zues to have some compassion for himself, notice I don't say feel sorry for himself or excuse his failings, entirely different. Just kindness for one who is doing his best.
Your drive serves you well in achieving your goals. It helps to make you who you are although drive in an R can be destructive. It's likely you need a very mature (in terms of spirit) W who can handle this level of judgement. Someone who will smile and say it's ok. Its just Zues.
I like JellyB reply although it many ways it says more about her judging herself than your judgement of her. She is evaluating herself by your standards in her post and speaks eloquently. Her core message is sound Zues are you letting D win over love and compassion? That is how partners may feel in an R unable to meet such high judgement? Can you see that?
My friendship is there for you to have if you want it. That's your choice Zues. I like you as you are anyway, I find you interesting and believe you would make a good friend. Hit your next R and friendship is over because I have lady bits! Well that's not how it is for me, my friends are part of my life, they stay in my life. As long as both friends want that.
Oh and RD I am very blonde! And senior!
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
