Separating to pieces (hopefully)

[e04355]

and her EA. she started talking to a guy at her gym. then they facebook friended and started chatting. ( a lot of this is hind sight) then exchanged #'s. she held onto her phone like it was her own beating heart. she would spend hours a day talking to him. and it got wierd and i got suspicious. she would go hide in the bedroom for an hour with her phone. go for a walk with her phone. etc. and when i would come into the room, she would quickly put her phone down and act guilty. the rest of her behavior changed dramatically too.

this lasted about 2 weeks before the bomb dropped. she stopped doing all house work. we had no clean dishes, none. we had no clean laundry. and she and i were having sex every night, which was new. she started acting really really strange all the time.

then, i snooped her phone when she was in the shower, and found all these messages with him saying "ive fallen in love with you" im married i dont know what to do. lets run away together. etc. it broke my heart.

we had a huge fight. she said she would stop. she broke contact with him and was super sad for a few days, and then she started back talking to him. we fought over it every day for a month until we separated over it.

the EA turned into a full blown relationship for a few months. then they broke up. we got back togeher and then she contacted him a few months later. i almost broke it off with her. looking back i should have.

she stopped, and we got throught it. then she contacted him again and i left. thats when i started with DB.

right now there is NC between them. and it seems to be sticking this time. (he told her off)

[Jb9140]

Don't even know where to begin. I feel completely devastated, with no fight left in me. Wife dropped kids off this morning and gave me a card for her lawyer at same time. Asked if I would please contact her lawyer this week. Said she following through on divorce. Dropped the kids off and gave me the news.

Can she be this cold? I'm at a total loss for words. Do I keep fighting for my marriage? I feel as lost today as BD day

I think that this may truly be the end. Very discouraged. Any advice is welcome.

[Jb9140]

Any advice from vets? I'm struggling

[mvgfwd2]

Throw the L card in a drawer. If she wants a divorce let her do all the work to get it. But consult your own L to protect yourself.

[sandi2]

Can she be this cold? I'm at a total loss for words. Do I keep fighting for my marriage? I feel as lost today as BD day

Would you explain how you see "fighting for your marriage" in your mind?

[Jb9140]

I have know idea at this point. I was really hoping she wouldn't file.

[Jb9140]

Throw the L card in a drawer. If she wants a divorce let her do all the work to get it. But consult your own L to protect yourself.

I still have to respond to the petition. Explain her doing all the work like I'm a newbie. Sorry my head is spinning.

[sandi2]

I have know idea at this point. I was really hoping she wouldn't file.

Does this change your game plan?

[Jb9140]

I guess not.

[mvgfwd2]

What happens if you don't respond to the petition?