Its not too late!

[mylittlehalo]

Well after a rocky road which I though would end up great The alien came back in full force...

Let me explain...
Friday night I went out with some friends, I called Xh around 8:30 to tell him we were going to point B incase he wanted to take a break and meet up with us and have a drink. I did not hear from him, which I did not think twice about but... After my friends and I went to a couple of bars we ended up at a Western Bar. I walked in and saw Xh's cousin, I told him hello and introduced him to my friends, He (the cousin) was quick to tell me that I did not see him there, He and his wife are having problems, then procedes to tell me that XH is there also. I was shocked but did not lead on. I told cousin "Cool, well I will talk to you later." Not two minutes later XH was at the table with my friends and myself, I introducted him to my friends and acted as if nothing was wrong with the sitch. We danced and talked, he would go back and forth from his cousin and friend to me and my friends. Everytime we danced he explained the sitch to me, how his cousin never gets out, the girl that was with them is his bosses XW, how she still loves him (his boss) so much, but he (his boss)is with someone else, blah blah blah...
The entire time my friend told me how I should be mad and that it is obvious he does not care about my feelings. I had to stop her in mid sentence at one point. Granted she was there during the initial split but she has no clue how much I have grown in this whole ordeal. I calmly and as politely as possible explained to her that I know what I am doing, that I refuse to show my A$$ and I am not going to let this ruin my night, lets please talk about something else. Her husband did make the comment to me that he (XH) will think a lot about me because I am not showing it bothers me.

When Xh left the bar, he knew I was not leaving at that moment, he told me to call him on my way home. I was upset and did not call him. He calls me while I am driving home and asks me 50 million questions as to why I did not call him. I told him I figured he was busy or asleep.

Later that morning we talk and we had the R talk. We were talking about the night before, I had stated how much fun I had and it was a surprize seeing him there. I asked him if he had gotten my messages and why he didn't tell me he was going out so I could of met up with him since I was on that side of town. He told me he did not know why he did not let me know he was going out, he said he guessed he did not think he needed to let me know things of this nature. I said what? People in a R keeps the lines of communication open between them. He then tells me that he thought we were "dating", he loves spending time with me and he loves me with all his heart he just has to have time to find his self. He doesn't know who he is anymore and that he wants to beable to go out with friends. How he went from being M to the love of his life to a R that should of never happened, and if we are going to get back together he needs to be able to clear his head to make sure this is what he wants and also ensure he will be the best partner he could be. His next words were "I got this from you, you told me how you took the time to clear your head and thats what I think I need, I still want to spend time with you and do things together. I want you to spend time with my family, and I want to spend time with your family, I want you to be a part of Drew's (new nephew) life, etc." I continually told him how much I understood, how I thought it was a great idea, etc. I did tell him how I allowed myself to be misleaded, I guess I read too much into what has been happening between us; looking for houses, planning our future etc. He then tells me how I am the love of his life, he loves me with all his heart, and that "US" buying a house and being together is not out of the question, as a matter of fact he sees us being together in the end.

What is this? He wants the benifits of being in a R without the title of being in a R? For example I left his house Sunday afternoon and went home, I fell asleep and did not answer his calls or any one elses for that matter and he gives me a hard time the next day about being with someone else, how I should just tell him who I was with etc. Another example, we went to lunch Monday, my phone rings I answer it and tell the caller that I was having lunch and I would return the call at a later time. When I hang up he asks me "Who was that? Who is calling you?" I said "Why? Why do you want to know"

So okay what the hell is going on here????? Any ones view would be appreciated. Why is he grilling me about my whereabouts but yet I'm supposed to be okay with his secrets...