I'm sorry your sleep got messed up again, Phoebe. It makes such a difference. Can you take your Xanax on schedule when you go to bed and just make sure you get sleep? The lack of sleep makes it harder for you to think straight and makes you more emotional during the day, so it becomes a vicious cycle. Please just take the Xanax when you go to bed tonight so you can get a night's sleep. I do that regardless these night, because otherwise I just get 4 hours interrupted by obsessive thoughts that I wake up with, and I'm a snappy and unfocused wreck during the day. You need your wits with you right now.
Think like a doctor - you take medication on a set time to prevent symptoms from recurring, not wait until the symptoms come back before you take the meds...
There are infidelity specialists who believe that knowing is important for healing - that if we don't know what happened, we'll stay disoriented and confused, unable to make sense, to the degree that some develop PTSD. Try googling 'trauma and infidelity' and check out the first article. I can't post the link here, but it was very validating reading. Made me feel a lot less crazy.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
It makes such a difference. Can you take your Xanax on schedule when you go to bed and just make sure you get sleep? The lack of sleep makes it harder for you to think straight and makes you more emotional during the day, so it becomes a vicious cycle. Please just take the Xanax when you go to bed tonight so you can get a night's sleep. I do that regardless these night, because otherwise I just get 4 hours interrupted by obsessive thoughts that I wake up with, and I'm a snappy and unfocused wreck during the day. You need your wits with you right now. 
