Detachment, anxiety and the end of limbo

[Phoebe]

I was typing away while you posted, Blu.

I think you are right. I looked because I wanted to see that it was real, that he was still with her, and I think I did want to be angry. I have felt so much pain, yet so little anger, that maybe I just wanted to tip the scales toward anger for a while.

You're also right, though. It really just hurt.

I want all of this to be over with. I want to go on with my life and discover that there is more to me than just what I had with him, because that is dead now and I need to go on living.

Last night I lay awake until 5 am, even with Benadryl and melatonin on board. I finally took Xanax out of frustration and managed to sleep until 9. I am so tired of being tired.