Cherry, I think we walk a tight rope between showing our WH's boundaries and demanding respect while also trying not to push them right out the door with pushiness. While I get that we aren't supposed to make ultimatums I also feel we need to make it clear that we won't settle for a wayward thinking spouse. I am demanding a better me and therefore I expect a better him in this marriage.
I am working today and have been fairly busy. I finally got a small break and decided to come here and peruse the posts. This morning I walked to H and was mentioning a scheduling problem (our child care provider may not be able to take care of the kids the night I go to my specialty graduation which means I may not get to go to the graduation I've been looking forward to.) The interesting thing is this may be due to someone being very selfish and not communicating to my child care provider adequately, she is a primary Spanish speaker and I need her daughter to be interpreter for more nuanced conversations. The daughter is a colleague of mine and has behaved very irresponsibly and selfishly in the past so this last minute problem is more-of-the same. Anyways H became upset at the daughter and said, "She's such a selfish skank." I was taken aback because this is nothing compared to what H has done and continues to do by refusing to work on our marriage. I mean, if you compare the daughter of the nanny's behavior (someone I am only peripherally associated with) to my H (the person who was supposed to be my protector and partner against the world) well...it's theft to murder frankly. But it gives an interesting peek into his brain, he really can compartmentalize and not face his own actions.
In the meantime I am trying to arrange alternative child care for Tuesday and may find a way to swing it.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
