Oh, and Zeus, I'm not trying to be all rosie optimistic here either. I am very much a realist.
Right now, I have decided I cannot handle the risk of another R ending the way they have been. I am afraid, for NOW, it may actually break me. So I am stepping back. As much as I want a love and partner in my life, I know me right now, and I can't handle another breakup going to the same way.
I do not tell myself it's forever, and I don't give a time limit on when I might be ready again. I don't plan for the the worst happening in the future.
But for today, I just cannot do it. We shall see for the future.
