My Wife Walked Out

[RSG]

I hear you. I'm still wrestling with forgiveness. I think I can do it, but I'm 100%. I think I already noted, but she said she was worried I'd use it as a "kill shot" in arguments for a long time. It's a legit concern and something I'll have to learn to control, and if I do it to immediately stop and apologize. I'd have to hear it from her, but I know some of the reasons I'm responsible. Validation is definitely one, and I'm on the right path there I think.

Counseling would be good for us. We need to have moments together where we show our pain, and the other says "I'm sorry" and consoles. I keep reading about how couples who stick it out after an affair report having a better M than before. That's what I want. I relate it to a nice house that's been unkempt for 6mos or a year. It has a solid foundation, but the kitchen is breaking down, the carpets are soiled, the yard is overgrown, etc. Do you want to leave it and move, or do you rip down the broken house and rebuild something bigger and better? I think we're both strong enough individuals to rebuild, we see something in each other that we want to cultivate again.

For now, I need to work on acting happier around her. I need to contact her less, and allow her to come to me even when it's about S. I need to continue to validate her feelings, continue to look her in the eyes when we speak and continue to control my emotions.

We're supposed to revisit in July. This is the longest month of my life, and it's just started lol.

Yeah, I've seen your stuff Coconut. I feel for you. If we're on an A-Z scale, I'm probably at D and you're around M. Stay strong, keep fighting!!