What Should I be doing (4)

[cbtdad]

Cnut,
I'm thinking you should let her do the fire academy.
I agree with Sandi, it looks like everything your W has done is to try and help move past this. It's all positive signs. You need to decide if you forgive her. Because right now, you haven't. Trust me. I've been there. Once you forgive then you need to work on that trust. I believe having zero contact with OM is essential. Meaning if he approaches her she needs to walk away. You can't control that though.
I totally get the anxiety of her hanging out with a guy one on one. Let me ask you something. Before your situation would you have had anxiety about that? The answer I'm assuming is no based on what you said earlier.
Just remember you can't control who she talks to, etc
But you can control how you react to it
That's the part that is going to take time.
If you don't, I promise you it will not work.
I'm proof of that right now. I couldn't let the anxiety and mistrust completely go
But I'm realizing why now. I was a controlling person. I wanted to control her environment so that it would prevent me from getting hurt again
All I did was a push her away with that control