What Should I be doing (4)

[RSG]

Rebuilding trust. I have only read articles and a few blogs, but it's been eyeopening realizing how difficult it will be. Deciding IF you can forgive is difficult enough, but then doing the work to build back trust and come back together in a NEW marriage screams difficulty. I want to look up a few books and see if they're at a library near me, so I can get more specific info.

When my wife and I gently broached the subject of trust and counseling, I mentioned about how hard it would be. That there would be very difficult days, and we'd have to fight through them. That if we started, we couldn't give up at the first tough moment. I think I can forgive, but I'm still having that internal battle.

I can't tell you if you're being controlling or not. One thing I can say is that you need to let your wife know what things she can do to earn back your trust such that you're not feeling like you have check up on her all the time. Checking up a little sounds reasonable, but once it starts going over the top she's going to want to quit. Easier said than done obviously....