Quote: I pursued my STBXH/XH more than ever WHEN I THOUGHT I HAD LOST HIM TO OW.
Too funny.. ..that happens almost EVERY SINGLE TIME...Can you honestly say you would have pursued him that hard, if you knew he was just out there "working on himself".. and NOT SEEING SOMEONE ELSE?? There is NOTHING that motivates CHANGE IN HUMAN BEHAVIOR like seeing a "third party" reaping the benefits of what was once ours..sure does make us want to PURSUE doesn't it? Unfortunately, the average LBS refuses to bring a third party into the equation especially when their WAS is seeing someone else...just to see how that might tip the scales a little..maybe get the WA to really think a little more seriously about whats happening and maybe want to PURSUE them again??..
Quote: I looked back and realize how every one of my calls pushed him further away from me.
Yes, because a WAS will not PURSUE reconciliation UNTIL they are ready, and that usually coincides with you letting go, stopping the chase, and being confident enough to say what you did way back when.."Let me know when you have things worked out with your present situation"..or something like that if I recollect correctly..When you continually initiate contact with an S who is pulling away from you, they pull away faster because they feel PRESSURE to respond when they really don't want to, not to mention, few WA's are attracted to someone who isn't GETTING THE MESSAGE of "Give me my space"..
Quote: One thing is for certain that once I quit calling XH, I mean really quit calling. it wasn't long before he was calling me just to chat.
Well, thats often the kind of foundation that must be laid if there is any hope of garnering some interest in renewing an R that appeared to be DONE..The strong ones, make the tough love sacrifices involved in cutting the lines, and stay consistent..even if it appears as though its not producing anything..In the long run it will, because we are all to some extent curious when something we had, just kinda drifts off into the sunset, quietly without a fuss...and we then ACT on that curiosity, and all it takes is that one phone call INITIATED BY THE XWAH/W when you least expect it, to perhaps get the ball rolling again..
Have a great weekend Halo, have a strawberry margarita on me..
..that happens almost EVERY SINGLE TIME...Can you honestly say you would have pursued him that hard, if you knew he was just out there "working on himself".. and NOT SEEING SOMEONE ELSE?? There is NOTHING that motivates CHANGE IN HUMAN BEHAVIOR like seeing a "third party" reaping the benefits of what was once ours..sure does make us want to PURSUE doesn't it? Unfortunately, the average LBS refuses to bring a third party into the equation especially when their WAS is seeing someone else...just to see how that might tip the scales a little..maybe get the WA to really think a little more seriously about whats happening and maybe want to PURSUE them again??.. 
