I've been thinking things over, taking a really big step back from my R, and looking at it from as much of a distance as I can.
Thinking back to the very start of our R, 18 and a half years ago now. Unbeknownst to me, my H was seeing someone at the time. He really fell for me and chased me hard. I didn't know he was/had been seeing someone else, and I didn't ask. I guess I assumed he was available. It feels a bit like he kind of sidelined her and swept his existing R under the carpet. At one point he did mention he had been seeing someone else, but I didn't ask any more about it.
