Have i been making mistakes too long part 8

[SH_]

tk how are you doing my friend?

I hope and pray that all is well for you and that you are on track with some of your goals.

As V asks, what is the plan for AA. You gotta start with that ASAP.

[tkdmme]

Hello all,

So I went to the AA last night after work. It was the pretty much the same group that was there when I was going before. Everyone was very friendly as always and seemed happy to see me back. It was pretty uneventful. When the time came for people to share stories I decided to stay quite. Maybe ill talk next time. I will be going on Thursdays each week for a while. When I attended the first time around which was months ago I was going for the wrong reasons. I was basically going in an attempt to show the STBX that I was trying to make a change in my life. I was hoping she would follow but she didn't. This time around its for me and my children. So step one has officially began.

I also found another outlet. There is a weekly ping pong tournament in town also on Thursday nights. After AA I went and signed up. I wasn't the best there but wasn't the worst either. This is something I will be doing on Thursdays for a while as well. Its lots of fun and the guys there are hilarious! They were all wearing 80s style outfits complete with sweat bands lol!

So, im still doing pretty well. im far from out of the woods but I feel that im finally on my way.

I have the kids this weekend too! I cant wait. We are going to hang out at home tonight but tomorrow we are going to my friend's son's birthday party. They have a pool and it has been super hot down here.

Also, I have about one more week on the buildings I have been working on since September 2014! it seems to good to be true. I am taking a vacation after that. I haven't had a vacation in years. Im not sure what im going to do yet but I will figure it out.

As always thanks for your support and I hope everyone is doing well.

[Vanilla]

I am proud of you.

Step one begins.

V

[SH_]

You are off on the right foot.

It is good to hear that you have a plan and are working at it.

Enjoy the time with the kids and have a nice weekend my friend.

[Sotto]

Great stuff TK - pleased to read this. Xx

[rd500]

Taking the first step is fantastic , easy to say but to actually do it is great.

Stay strong. Rd

[tkdmme]

Good morning folks,

Just Journaling. So the weekend is going well. I had a great Saturday with my boys golfing and swimming. I went to pick up d13 after swimming and she didn't want to go with me again. I know she 13 now and is probably going through the female puberty thing and I know the separation is bothering her but I don't understand why she doesn't want to spend time with me. I'm a little depressed over this. STBX sister is still in town. That might have something going to do with it. I just don't know.

So me and the boys just hung out and watched movies last night. It's kind of nice just being with my son's and being lazy.

I'm going to get them ready and go to church this morning. Maybe d13 will be there.

[SH_]

You are sounding better and better tk.

I can imagine the challenge it is with d13. My best advice is to continue your efforts to be there for her, validate her when talking with her, and above all keep the disappointment and hurt you are feeling to yourself. I say this as I have to do the same with my d17, because when I don't it causes her to feel guilty and upset.

IMO it is important for them to do what is right for them,and for us to support them. The divorce is hard on them and whether we like it or not they are being forced to choose.
Be there for her. Love her. And respect her choices and she.will recognize this even if it takes time.

I am so thrilled to see the progress you are making and I will be here to support, encourage, and whack you with a 2x4 when needed as you continue on.

Have a peaceful and spiritual time at church and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

[tkdmme]

thanks SH,

Keep the 2x4 handy lol.

I wasn't sure what to do about d13. every time I go to get her and she don't want to go she says she is sorry and feels bad. I tell her its ok and she shouldn't feel bad. I said last night to her, im sure you don't want to hang out with a bunch of sloppy boys. she laughed and agreed, I sure hope im doing the right thing with her. I don't want to loose her. I don't want her to feel bad either when she doesn't want to come over. I just want everybody to be happy.

This situation has taken such a toll on everyone around us. Im just ready for life to get back to some kind of normal.

I even want the STBX to be happy. I know I have no control over this but if the two of us can be happy and heal, the kids will see it and start to feel stable again.

This stuff is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. I have seen friends go through it but until you are in it you will never understand,

I am feeling better and although I woke up in a funk this morning, I am not going to let it run my day and my time with the boys,

Thanks as always, i am eternally grateful.

[Vanilla]

There will be bad days.

And AA is for life I know you know that.

You have kids and in your future grandkids to look forward to.

That's worth more than anything.

D12 keep on keeping on. Some dad time 1 on 1 needed and hugs even dads can say D13 I need a hug now.

V

V