Tomorrow starts the first day of the next chapter in my life - being a part time student I managed to get enrolled on a lower level bridging course which strangely gets me to the same point as the higher level one I was turned down for! so in Jan 17 I will have the necessary qualification to start a Diploma or Degree. I have not done study for many many many ....years lol, so I am entering this with a mixture of nerves and excitement.
I need to make sure I plan my time well, my work hours are the not the greatest to work study around, but I know my job is not for the long term, I am looking at changing a few things in my life, so for now I just have to muddle through as best I can.
It was my Birthday this week. I have taken a few days off work and have had some good R&R. I had a lovely day and was blessed with some beautiful cards and gifts from my g/friends and my children.
H news - contact continues, our friendship is growing stronger, we chat more and while I have been off its been more regular as I have been available in the evenings when he has the time to chat. He has been going through a rough time at work and I have tired to give him some support and distraction from the challenges he has right now. Whilst I am still removed, I will now feel the sadness of losing a friend if we dont find our way back together, as I know that for me to move forward with my life completely, h can't be in it, I recognize that I care and love him too deeply to be able to just be friends. The more we talk and interact with each other the more "normal" it feels and it will be a loss for me again now. But I suppose this is the part of giving us a chance, you have to open your heart up to allow the love in ,but opening it up gives the possibility of it being broken again.
He text me on my b/day, wished me a Happy Birthday, I thanked him, he replied that he sincerely apologizes for not getting me anything but after giving the boys money to make sure they got me something the piggy bank is empty. I told him that there was no need to apologize, just the fact he remembered, he reminded the boys and then got them organised, means the world to me.
In the past he would have just used his cc to get something but lately its all been about paying down all the debts he racked up while MIA, so much so he has given up his beloved car and exchanged it for a sensible A-B family economical car - which for a complete petrol head is a big deal! He is doing really well with the debts and it wont be long before they are cleared if he continues to keep a check on needless spending. This has been a big change with him, its good change and I hope is one that is here to stay regardless of what happens with us.
Right now, I feel in a calm place. Its been 2 years since he got in his car and drove away, so much has happened, so much changed. I never expected to be where I am, doing what I am and with him back in my life again. I can't say I am really Happy, but I am OK and I have faith that Happy is not far away.
I am aware that I dont comment on many posts at the moment, I dip in and out of the forum and keep up to date with as many threads as possible. I know that the possibility of having h back in my life interests many of you, so I will keep you updated as often as I can with how things progress ...or not as the case may be! General life is not so exciting, just settled into a every day routine and for now things are calm, which feels odd as its been a while; a bit boring (oh yes, I did say boring lol) as I have got used to so much crazy going on in my life
Love and hugs to all you amazing beautiful people here. You are always in my thoughts xoxo
I managed to get enrolled on a lower level bridging course which strangely gets me to the same point as the higher level one I was turned down for! so in Jan 17 I will have the necessary qualification to start a Diploma or Degree. I have not done study for many many many ....years lol, so I am entering this with a mixture of nerves and excitement. 
