I had kind of a weird week and a half. Something shifted and I was eerily calm about my life and sitch. I sat back and questioned whether it was detachment or if it was the universe showing me the calm before the storm. Things are so eerily-still that it feels like something is due to come. Strange feeling. I haven't felt like this in so long, I'm scared for the next curveball.... Feels like I'm due for a blow.
It's June. It's officially been a year that h and I have been physically separated. During this time, there has been 1 R talk initiated by me right after I moved out and one D talk in January. Other than that, there has been no temp checking from h, no remorse, no signs of doubt or uncertainty. There has also been no overt signs of wanting to file right away and have this done and over with. I don't know what any of it means, and I'm not going to waste my time worrying about it.
I find that I don't enjoy seeing him, but I do see him every week for dog swap. we are in complete NC except for the two texts a week to firm up dog drop/ pick up. If If we didn't have the dog, we would be completely and utterly pitch black dark.
In terms of the very minimal contact that we do have, it's totally business like. I wouldn't even say it's kind, just matter of fact. No hello's, no how are you's, no have a good weekend.
Things are going well with me personally. I signed up for tennis lessons that start next week, signed up for a triathlon and have 99 days to prep for that. Also, an opportunity to run a half marathon on Sunday presented itself so I took it! It's been about a month since the last one and I clearly haven't been training, but my new mantra is "why the heck not?!" So, I'll go and get exercise and have a good time!
That's it for me... Just living life and moving forward. H is in my mind but as a distant memory. He's not the guy I married and I don't think we're going to find each other again. Never say never..... But.... Well.... You know!
I guess that's it for now. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
