I always look forward to reading your threads, nice job of hitting his "curveballs' with cool CONFIDENCE and the ability to bring a little humor into the discussion..
Its little wonder to see why things continue to improve for you given the CONSISTENT WAY YOU HANDLE and CONNECT WITH HIM.
Nice set of goals.. I agree 100% about having more FUN, LIGHT conversations. Take a look at other couples next time you're out on the town, rarely do you see thme mired in "serious R talk"..its usually happy, fun convo...thats what works in the long run..
Try drinking the proverbial 64 oz of H2O per day in addition to your workouts, etc, after a couple of weeks, you'll start to notice and you'll FEEL healthier too...
Have a good weekend, been out gor a girls night out lately, good to do that ever so often..
Quote: Then yesterday he calls me on his way home from work to tell me that he had a "date". I could tell by the cracking in his voice he was not prepared for my reaction. I said cool, have a good time. He then tells me that the date is with his lawn mower. Jokingly I told him not to let her take advantage of him, and he needs to get something out of it as well.
Sounds like a wonderful flirty conversation, quite pointless - I say don't worry too much about things, as you and he gain confidence in each other, there will be more light stuff, what with the cat calls and all
Wiley's water idea is great, it certainly worked wonders for me - hydrates skin too!!! Reducing the carbs is what made the biggest difference to me. Verry difficult, but well worth it. I think you are going to ace your goals in good time Hugs, Slowly
Wiley, nice to hear from you. Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for your encouragement!
Quote: Try drinking the proverbial 64 oz of H2O per day in addition to your workouts, etc, after a couple of weeks, you'll start to notice and you'll FEEL healthier too...
This is great advise, I totally agree. So okay I know this might sound like a silly question but is there such a thing as drinking too much water? I drink any where from 5-6 qts, (about 190-228 oz) a day. A few years ago I suffered from frequent and very painful kidney infections I stopped drinking sodas, coffee, and tea. Anything that had caffeine in it was banned, I have been on the H2O kick for quite sometime. Heck I think I own stock in Ozarka. LOL
Quote: been out gor a girls night out lately, good to do that ever so often..
Interesting enough I have not gone out with the girls in a couple of weekends, but we are getting together tonight for a while, plus I am going to spend all day with my mom and sister doing girlie things tomorrow.
I have made a decision that this weekend is going to be spontanious, fun, and serious talk free!
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Mooka, Yes, I am very excited about the almost sell of his house. Except his XOw is being absolutely crazy and being a witch. Really has Xh worried about what she is going to do to his things in their house or worse what she is going to do to sabotage the sell.
Slowly, I really enjoy reading your opinion of the situation at hand.
Quote: Sounds like a wonderful flirty conversation, quite pointless - I say don't worry too much about things, as you and he gain confidence in each other, there will be more light stuff, what with the cat calls and all
This is something I have not thought of until you brought it up. I have to say you are correct, we will have more to talk about once the confidence levels are established. I think we are at a point in our R that we are still not sure what we can and cannot talk about with the other person. Plus his present situation has got to put a strain on him, I'm sure he will loosen up when that stress is out of his life. The meow went better than I could have imagined. He laughed so hard it made me laugh and brightened up both of our days!
Cutting the carbs will be the next thing I try. A little discouraged but still not ready to give up. I must remember that I didn't put this extra weight on overnight and it is not going to come off overnight either!
Journaling- The last couple of days, since Xh had the meeting with the retired couple that wants to buy his house, Xh has been pretty distant. I have learned from the book men are from mars that this is pretty normal. He is just in his cave and I have to accept this. He will get his problems worked out and then he will come out of his cave, he will again be the man I love and want to spend forever with. I don't know how to explain it but I had this feeling in the bottom of my stomach yesterday that something was wrong. Well, I was right something is wrong, his XOw has gone completely nuts, she is crazy!! I don't know all the details, just bits and pieces but I know she has been spending more time at the house since Wed and she had a house full of people over there last night. Xh is worried she and her friends will clean him out, if you know what I mean. He is also worried she will do something to sabotage the sale of the house. He is so stressed, and worried about leaving his house for too long because of this crazy psycho! One thing that bothers him is something I do not think should bother him. He told me that he walked into the garage last night and he saw his XOw and this guy (whom she said was just a friend) making out. He seemed angry about it and told me that he was upset because she lied to him about this other guy and because she disrespected him by doing this in front of him. He then proceeded to tell me that he would never do this in front of her. He said "Every time you come over I make sure she will not be here and she won't show up." What the hell does this mean?
Not ever been in this type of situation before I don't understand why he would be upset. They are not together anymore, they are just room-mates right, he never loved her, he just used her because he knew she would always be there, the list goes on an on. utterly confused. Any one with experience on this topic please let me know.
Other than the above hurdle, things are really well! Still looking for a house, Planning our future together. He has told me several times that he wants me to be able to take off work until our children start school (If that's what I want to do), Sunday we had another talk about having kids, I told him I think I will only work for about two more years. He smiled, you could tell that he was pleased with this news.
Will catch up more later. Hugs and prayers
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Quote: He told me he walked into the garage last night and saw XOW and this guy (whom she said was just a friend...) making out. He seemed angry about it and told me he was upset because she lied to him about this other guy and she disrespected him by doing this in front of him
. Not sure what to make of it (well, other than the all too familiar scenario where guy breaks up with girl, girl finds new guy, old guy deep down is a little jealous still...and gets a little riled up about it..), but if she was the psycho he leads on that she is, he doesn't think twice, let alone get angry about it, on the contrary he should care less who she's in the garage with... If your gut tells you something is not right with his reaction, I couldn't blame you..
Quote: He said "Every time you come over I make sure she will not be here and she won't show up." What the hell does that mean?
I don't know, maybe he just feels its best to keep the two of you apart at all costs, probably assumes there would be some kinda conflict he'd rather not have to deal with. Or it could be something else that prompted him to say that, who knows. I'd let it go for now, and assume that things like this won't crop up again..
Meanwhile, he still seems to be painting a pretty picture in terms of the future for you two, so just keep doing what you've done up to this point, but at the same time, I'd keep one of your old quotes from your Newcomers post (below) in the back of your mind..
Quote: I know I am supposed to forget about what happened in the past, but just have this bad feeling. The last time we tried to work on things he ended up working things out with OW. Am I just paranoid?
No, just gotta proceed with a little caution until this home of his is closed and done with and they are out of each other's lives once and for all..
Quote: One thing that bothers him is something I do not think should bother him.
I got several bloody noses for thinking I could do the 'thinking' for H. Bad idea. Betsey put me right on this. Though H is 'back' with you, alow him time to get over OW, it WILL take time. That's why it is important we keep dbing, all the good stuff that makes them think of us MORE than they think of OW, until they don't think of OW at all...
Nice moves though. I'm going to try your cat calls Slowly
Mylittlehalo, I have read your entire thread and I must say you are incredible. I don’t know if I have the strength to wait for years. I do have a few questions for you.
I am curious about some of your feelings in the beginning ie, when you were with OM, did you have any intention of reconciliation with H? Did you feel at that time that you loved your H or OM? Did you think about H? Did H think about you? If you know other feeling H went thru then I would be interested in that also.
My W is so sure right now she wants D and doesn’t love me anymore. She also feels she will never love me again. I would like to get some insight as to what she may be thinking if anything. If you want to read my thread, it is below. If you don’t have time to read my thread then let me know and I will give you a quick rundown.
I don’t see anything wrong with you moving in with H in his house. That would be better financially. I would have all locks changed so OW can’t come over and snoop. If the couple does buy it what will you do? It makes me so happy that things have worked out for you. Keep up the good work.
Wiley, & Slowly: It is always nice to hear from you both. Your insights and views are well respected!
I am trying to remember to be patient and I am also trying not to get too worked up about his jealousy with XOW. I believe it is natural for any of us to be jealous when the person we “cared” for rubs our face in their new relationship. It is my belief he makes certain she will not show up when I am there because he is a Libra Male, he hates confrontations. I also believe he does not want to put me in a situation that might upset me. He is dealing with an awful lot right now. He has been somewhat distant, but the good news is that he is opening up to me more and more daily. The cat calls brighten up both of our day. We are planning our future together, which keeps me going. I am proceeding with caution, and I am continuing to practice my Db’ing skills.
Quote: That's why it is important we keep dbing, all the good stuff that makes them think of us MORE than they think of OW, until they don't think of OW at all...
This is good stuff, and another one of Halo's goals!
Thanks
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
I agree 100% about having more FUN, LIGHT conversations. Take a look at other couples next time you're out on the town, rarely do you see thme mired in "serious R talk"..its usually happy, fun convo...thats what works in the long run..
So many nice developments. 