Another kids event and OW crossing; however this time it was H with our kids and I wasn't there, OW was with her new OM and kids, and her H was there by himself. My H said it was awkward--no one spoke or interacted, they all just saw each other, and then passed by as if strangers. H said when he sees her H, he feels bad, and he can now see what their R has done to not only our family but their family as well. Did I mention that all of us were friends before any of this? And our occasional crossings will be unavoidable because we live in a small town and have kids in the same sports/activities.

This time I felt triggered. I feel protective over her H, because he went through what I went through, and was/is in the same sitch as all of you here. Now he has to go to these events solo and see my H (the A that essentially broke apart their M) and he has to see his W (or XW) there with his kids and hew new OM. Ugh. And to think she called her H her best friend and would say how no matter what happened to their M, H would always be her best friend. Ironically she would tell me this (years ago) while she was pursuing my H behind my back. What a (not at all hot) mess she is!

Anyhow, just hearing that H crossed them, triggered me, and more so than when I just saw her a week ago. He feels sad that he did this to her H and as time goes on it becomes more clear the destruction that this caused. I couldn't help but agree with him. Yeah, you two were fools and hurt a lot of people. What were you thinking? You gave up our M and family for that? She's a complete trainwreck. It's embarrassing. Now, I didn't say all of that, but I was thinking it. Then I rolled over, went to sleep, and went on with my day the next morning. Now for me, THAT is progress.

Otherwise, things are fine on the piecing front. Busy times with the end of school and kids sports/activities wrapping up. Lot's of nice summer plans and vacays. Mostly I am feelings at peace with where we are at. I am not thinking about him all the time, obsessing over the M or what is happening, but more so focusing on just living my life. I am also not putting pressure on working on things or spending time together. Sometimes just taking the pressure off and accepting what it is, makes it feel okay overall.

-Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela