She's gone. Living in the now.

[Sotto]

Hey Scrant, I did read your post before dashing out this morning - and I'm glad Zues responded with some awesome advice in the meantime.

Plus - good for your son (bless him) cooking dinner and good for you looking for silver linings. They are there in all of our situations and it is good to keep an eye open and notice them.

Now then, I hope the message from Zues has strengthened your resolve because - truly - none of us want to be moping over someone who is in a long term relationship and cohabiting with someone else!! Certainly in my sitch, that's how I feel now - but it did take me a while to get here.

Now I feel (and forgive any arrogant trumpet blowing here) - wow, he gave up a lot, giving up our M. I was a nice W - loving and kind, loyal, faithful. In return, he got someone who has cheated twice already and was involved in the break up of two M's - both with kids involved. That is no prize. And I would not want to be with someone who is in that kind of place emotionally (ie: that they think this hook up is a good idea.)

I don't moon and mope for him at all any more. More I think - well, good luck you you (I think you're gonna need all that luck.)

Truthfully, whilst she remains in the state of mind that she will continue with this R, she has nothing good to offer you anyway. So, you may as well go out and create your own joy. Who knows if she may realise the loss at some point? But if she doesn't, she isn't a suitable partner for you anyway.

I understand the need to grieve - truly I do. But also, try not to let grief stop you in your tracks. Use it (and your anger) as a way to propel you forwards.

Truly you will get through this - after all, what's the alternative? There are no easy roads through from where we are. Only winding ones with signs covered in moss and grime. But if we travel them right, I don't think we will ever regret that journey.

Take care my friend. I hope you have some nice plans this weekend xx