- GAL is important. But not only getting a life...meeting new people is so critical. These people will know you as "you" and not as your WS' STBX. This gives you no reason to discuss your situation with them or dwell on it. It gets you out of the house and engaged in something new.
- PMA is also important. Choose your own happiness. The more you act happy, the more you will be happy. If you havent, watch the TED Talk by Shawn Achor on the Happiness Advantage. Your life is so much more than your WS; find the things that bring you joy.
- Learn to validate. Learn to communicate. It isnt about being right; it's about finding that common ground to work together. Listen and understand people; be engaged. It's OK to disagree, but HOW you disagree will play a huge impact in the direction your conversation goes.
- Goal setting is one of the first steps for a reason. It sounds dumb and its a lot of work, but the activity really is paramount. How can you steer a ship if you dont know where you are going? Nobody sets out in a car and says "hmm, I think I'll go left here" - you cant get where youre going unless you know where you want to go.
- The success or failure of your marriage doesnt define you. You define you. Who you are, who you want to be. You are so much more than just your marriage; a parent, a friend, a colleague, a sibling, and so on. Dont let your failings define you. Learn from them and keep moving forward.
