My fear is that she wants me to do that so I look like the bad guy, and I am trying to figure out if I can protect myself from that the best I can.
Why do you fear being seen as the bad guy? I am not trying minimize your concerns by asking this question. I do believe it part of the makeup in a nice-guy H. Maybe you should examine that question a little deeper, b/c I bet you have been this way (not wanting to be seen as the bad guy in any situation) for a very long.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
