Did you W project all of that onto you? To the point you believed it?
Have you listened to the Ross Rosenberg videos about codependents and narcissists? Listen to one, see if you project everything narcissistic onto yourself. Listen a few more times and think about if your W was projecting it onto you.
I don't think she projects that onto me. I'm pretty sure I've seen those videos. I will rematch them, with the context you list in mind.
to be honest. I don't believe my wife is a true narcissist. she certainly has traits, but all people do...do they act on them?
wife is certainly immature emotionally. I've seen growth from her in many ways and that is reassuring.
yesterday we talked about money. she had contemplates taking a side job tk earn extra cash to help with the debt thst has accrued with her college tuition payments and supplemental loans. she struggles with that vs. losing all of the time that she has started to find herself enjoying with family and herself. my wife makes a tremendous living...almost 40% of family income (and still growing) and we live a comfortable life.
I kept mostly quiet answering questions and validating her opinions. the outcome...she asked if we could sit down. amd revisit the budget to see if there is a way to actually NOT do the contract work so she can spend more time with us.
certainly. I left the decision up to her, encouraged it and she came up with rational plan.
just Wednesday, s14 asked if he could purchase a new video game...she asked which one...he tells us grand theft auto 5 and all his friends play. well we told him right out, we needed to discuss so no for now.
wife and I ended up going for a walk together and discussed. before that she had done some reading up...she didn't know much about the game. we talked for 1t minutes about the impact of thone sorts of games on development and also how in my mind they went against my core beliefs (sex with prostitute, murder, drug use...on and on).
we didn't get a chance to tell s14 the verdict. well yesterday she continued to do more research and ask other parent d about the game. when j was at work, she told s14 no. they went back and forth (as I understand from both of the them) calmly and respectfully. he was not happy buto he will get over it.
i have seen more clues of her maturation.
what does aLL this mean. nothing.
I know my life is not as bad as dumpster fire as I've made it to be.
I know that I came off a bit Lucille Ball yesterday with the 'whaaaaaaaaaaa' stuff.
I am trying to find anger and every time I do it fizzles. I have spent a good amount of time searching for it.
v's posts to try to get me angry at her...I couldn't summon that response at all which is kind of embarrassing. I just kept thinking....she called a spade a spade, why would I get mad about that.
I was mad at my mom and dad for a while. I ripped into them pretty good last fourth of July at my annual camp fire to tell theme how I felt about certain aspects of my up bringing. pretty sure I posted about that a bit before...if not I can type that up for you guys. I do know that since then mom and dad have really been making an effort towards each of my brothers and thier kids more. even old dogs can learn
no my big hole is yet to be filled. my love for myself....still a slow work.
forgiving myself. yesterday I went and looked in the mirror and repeated over and over....it was not your fault that mom and day didn't show the love and affection, the praise and reassurance to me that they should have, that i needed. That was not my fault.
V, i cried for a while after. wife called me shortly after that...as if she somehow knew I was struggling. she instantly sensed something wrong in me. I told her that I had a rough go at work. she tried to console me a bit. she didn't bring it up at all when I got home...in all fairness neither one of us sat down until almost 10 30 last night. I would like to share that with her, to let her know why I was upset, chance to show openness and vulnerability???
her folks are coming in for an action packed weekend. honestly just want to sit and relax. BUUUUT we have about 20 things we have invites for and are going to do about 6 of them, all necessities...still pretty busy.
have to start getting ready for work. otherwise I would type blippy-blop nonsense all day.
