First thing I will give you, is that helping you to raise your children it might help if you look up Erik Erikson who invented the Stages of Human Development. This is what children are suppose to learn at different ages. It is 8 stages and includes 3 stages of adulthood. So 5 stages as a child.
As far as your relationship goes. Sounds like your wife is in early menopause/perimenopause .
This could take years to complete and and she has to decide that she wants to FIX herself, no differently than you and me.
My experience is that when things progress slowly and not as much high energy is going on this whole process takes even longer. So I guess I can only advise that you continue doing what you are working on and at some point decide what you will and will not accept in your marriage.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
