WAS or what (recap for me)

[roist]

Posted by Zephyr 29 jan 16

Hey roiste, dont have a ton of time this week so i will try to keep this short (uh-oh, zephyr posts never = short)

The letter is a tricky one. Do you need to get thst all off of your chest or so you want to break through her ice somehow. Maybe both. If you could write this to help your healing and progress, with absolutely no expectatuins for anything coming of it, then fine.

Else just write it out and burn it. That is where it will do most good...is you putting pencil to paper.

I have an odd question...when was the last time you did something phun together? Spontaneous (ya is hard with kids and jobs and life).

Is there a way you could just get a sitter for a coupke of hours and go out to a club or dancing or sonethung. Tell her, look...i know things have been strained...i would love to just go out and BE. If she doesnt want to go. You shoukd go anyway.

Just an example...i dint know what your W likes to do. There were a couple of outing where my 'live in roomate mother of my children who wanted nothing to do with me' did go out with me. There was an expression she used, "i dont want to give you the wrong idea about this."

I took it as 'i will go but dont expect to get any' so maybe you can get out in front of that and say something along those lines, take some of the pressure off of the decision and just go out.

It will do a couple of things. Shows her

You are a fun guy
You want more from her than just sex
You are able to plan and lead
You are interested in her having fun too

Either way go out and have a good time.

Now this might not be the best advice for everyone, but at this point you are workng towards a stalemate and need to sacrifice a pawn to continue this game. It is not a matter of win -lose, just moving forward off of the standstill.

Light and breezy, no talk of future, if she says yes and something along the lines of this doesnt mean 'insert WAW crap speak' just reply, of course not i just wwnt to go out and have a good time.

Last one, i know your pain and struggles are taking a toll on you...how much of that shows through on yhe times you do have interactions? How much of that soarkling PMA is available when you are really fuming or disappointed or focusing on the struggle.

I sometimes catch myself in the car with just the two of us just sitting in sikence. Inam in the middle of thought about something, anything coukd be marriage coykd be something else...but sikence between us. I have to recenter and bring myself back into the fold. Try to stsrt a conversatiin with her...jibberish, nonsense, try to sing along with the radio to break that silence, i start laughing out load about a joke i heard thst fay, ask her what she is reading lately. It is kind of a breach in the 37, i guess...but not really. We are trying to BUILD communication.