halo, I hope you had fun at the b-day party. I've been trying to catch up on your stitch and you are doing so well. hang in there and maybe she won't loose her job. any bits on the house for sale?
Slowly & Suzyblue, Thanks to both of you for popping in on me! How are you ladies doing? Slowly, I have not heard anything from maya. I hope things are going good with her and H. Suzyblue, Xh's house is still on the market, they have slowed down on showing it with Easter, hopefully it will pick up soon
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Oh My goodness this week has been so busy, I have not had time to post about my weekend or catch up on anyone elses threads. This is my goal today and tomorrow!
Our weekend was wonderful. We had great conversations on the drive there and back. I was worried about this because I do not do well on long car trips, I get tired and cranky, but I did great. Heck we did great!!
This is the first time I have seen "our" mutual friend since right before we separated three years ago. It was wonderful he hugged me and told me he was so glad we were back together. He then proceeded to tell me that he didn't like Ow. (I get the impression no one liked her very much) hee hee hee.
I think this weekend was a definite stepping stone to the R we are starting with each other. Xh and I had long heart to heart's after everyone went to bed, some times it wasn't until after 5am. Needless to say we did not get very much sleep!
It sounds like we are on the same track with life and our R. Xh asked questions about my past R's, I reacted like I have done before, was very cautious with what I did tell him. Our R is going so smoothly, I do not have the constant fear he is going to get hurt by my words and run away. On the other hand I want to share everything with him, I just do not want him to ever feel like he has to try to live up to the other men I have dated. I am not sure how men react to hearing details about glamorous trips, intimate details, and such. I know how I would have reacted before I started Db'ing, things like this made me crazy! Gave me the feeling I was living in someone elses shaddow, trying to constantly do better than the one before. I dont want him to ever feel like he has to live up so someone else's memory. If anything is true the other men I have dated have had to try and live up to my memories of Xh and thats why they have done the things for me they have done.
On our way home Sunday we stopped in the subdivisions we are wanting to buy a house in and looked at a few more houses. The house we went in did not give me the warm "I'm home" feeling like the house we bid on a month ago gave me. Still looking I guess. Xh real-estate agent is not as enthusiastic about selling his house as he was in the beginning. He told Xh that he has not shown it in over a week and that the next option for them to do is to lease it out. So it is just me but is this a bad idea? If they lease it that would be the opposite of what him and Ow want. From what I understand, the purpose of them selling their house is to break the tie that binds them together. Xh asked my opionion on this and I honestly didn't have one. I asked him what he thought, his words to me " Well Halo, we still have what 4 months until your lease is up so how about I just keep it on the market for the next few months, we can still look for our house."
Xh is going out of town this weekend with the guys, its going to be the first weekend we have not spent with each other in almost 2 months. As sad at that is, I think its a good thing. Gives us time to miss each other. LOL
Thanks to all for checking on me. Hugs and Prayers
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Have not heard from you in a while, so i wanted to check in with you. Hope all is well and could use your insights on my sitch as well as an update on yours.
Take Care!!
New Thread (contains link to first thread):
http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB24&Number=685435&fpart=&PHPSESSID=
SSS- Thanks for checking in on me. Work has been so crazy, Between end of month close, and the big System conversion we are going through, I'm ready to pull my hair out. I deserve a vacation. Things with Xh are going great, we are becoming best friends and are spending as much time together as possible.
Update: The birthday party a couple of weekends ago was wonderful, we had a great time. Last weekend he stayed with me we went to dinner with some friends of mine. We had an enjoyable time. My friends think he is great. One tense moment sunday... His truck would not start, dead battery! Well long story short I locked the door when I got out of his truck he came behind me and before I could tell him the door was locked he shut it. While he was shutting the door he asked me if I had his keys. Well no! He got grumpy and some what angry, he let his frustrations out by cursing a lot. I did not try to fix it or make myself misreable trying to get him in a good mood. I called a locksmith and left it at that. We have laughed about this several times since 10 minutes after it happened. This weekend I am staying at his house. It is going to rain here all weekend so the plans we have will most likely be cancelled. But thats okay! There is nothing wrong with long naps and curling up on the couch watching movies!
Last night I went to his house after work, I stopped by the market to pick up something to cook for dinner. He was so suprized when he came home to a home cooked meal. He thanked me several times and we cleaned the kitchen together. He made several comments about how this is the way it should be and that he cannot wait until we live together. He was so appreciative, constantly told me how special he felt and thanked me numberous times. He made me laugh when he told me he didn't know I could cook like this. Background info: when we were married the only thing I knew how to cook came from a box, ie. hamburger helper, macaroni & cheese, and cereal! Wow how things have changed!! I'm an excellent cook now.
Oh by the way there is another open house at his house tomorrow. Hopefully someone will be interested in it. What confuses me is that his house is beautiful, every ungrade you could imagine and decently priced for the quality of home it is. There has not even been one offer on it. We have talked about it and I think I am going to move in to the house when my lease is up (if it has not sold). But, and I have made this perfectly clear, it will stay on the market and he will do what ever he has to do in order to sell it. Am I wrong for this? Any view or opinion would be appreciated.
I hope all of you are well. Hugs and prayers!
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
I'm sure you don't have a clue who I am...but I've just caught up on your posts....and want to say you are an AMAZING woman!! Truly.....I was ready, like many, to throw in the towel on the next conv with my H....just getting sick of such minimal-no changes....and we've only been sep 2 months.
Anyway....what HOPE you have given me. I am working sooooo hard on detaching. And have done pretty well, but kind of lost it this week. H doesn't know that, thank God.
Working hard on my faith....a wonderful silver lining in this whole mess. That gives me more peace than I would have imagined.
Just want to thank you for sharing soooo much with all of us. Wiley visits my post often and has been very helpful as well.
Take care and it is obvious that God is with you every step of the way. This BB place is amazing!
Keep going forward.....it's wonderful to read about!!
I am pleased to hear you are working on your faith. You know I was driving down the street some time ago, having a really bad day when I looked up and read a companys marque sign it said... "If god brings you to it, he will bring you through it". A very simple phrase yet so true.
I am very fortunate that god is with me on this journey. When everything was falling apart in my life three years ago I blamed everyone and everything except for myself for the problems I was facing. After the usual crying, begging, pleading, etc. I picked up DR, I repaired my relationship with the lord and this is what has given me the courage, patience, and belief that I could save my M & R.
If after people read my story; just (1) person has a little more hope then before, I feel that sharing my story about everything I have gone through and my posting here is worth it.
Thank you all for your support. I could not imagine going through such a difficult time with out this board.
hugs and prayers
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Quote: He made me laugh when he told me he didn't know I could cook like this. Background info: when we were married the only thing I knew how to cook came from a box, ie. hamburger helper, macaroni & cheese, and cereal! Wow how things have changed!! I'm an excellent cook now.
Fantastic He probably wonders what else has changed about you. Keep him guessing, Halo.
Quote: Oh by the way there is another open house at his house tomorrow. Hopefully someone will be interested in it. What confuses me is that his house is beautiful, every ungrade you could imagine and decently priced for the quality of home it is. There has not even been one offer on it. We have talked about it and I think I am going to move in to the house when my lease is up (if it has not sold). But, and I have made this perfectly clear, it will stay on the market and he will do what ever he has to do in order to sell it. Am I wrong for this?
We have the same problem, a beautiful flat, the first viewer after 3 weeks due later today. Hang in there. I'm not sure whay you moving in after the lease is up would be a problem, seeing that you both want to be together
Slowly, You are right he is wondering what else has changed about me. I let him know little things as I feel appropriate. Mystery is a wonderful thing. HEE HEE HEE
Lately I have had the feeling that he is trying to test me to 'make sure' I am not the angry, jealous, harsh person I once was. For Example Last week he told me that he was thinking of getting a roommate (one of XOW's friends) that is female. He asked me what he should do and when I told him it was his decision, it would directly effect him and that I support what ever he chooses to do. He was flabergasted. He then proceeded to tell me that he doesn't even know this girl, and that I would not have to worry about anything happening between them, how it would just help him out financially. Then yesterday he calls me on his way home from work to tell me that he had a "date". I could tell by the cracking in his voice he was not prepared for my reaction. I said cool, have a good time. He then tells me that the date is with his lawn mower. Jokingly I told him not to let her take advantage of him, and he needs to get something out of it as well. I'm confused does he want me to be jealous? There is always the possibility that I am over analyzing things a bit. I have not done that in a while, it's due time
On a brighter note... Long story short, this retired couple has looked at his house a couple of times so far (with out an agent), they want to buy his house. Hurray!!!! The only problem is that the retired couple wants Xh to drop his agent and sell the house "by owner" doing this would allow XH to drop the price 10grand. They had a meeting last night and worked out the details, seems like it is a done deal. Xh is going to be free of his house and XOW in no time. I imagine 45 days!! One more goal conquered!
I think it is about time to make new goals! 1. Work on own insecurities about the lack of useless conversations with XH 2. Loose 20 lbs by end of lease in August 3. Find and buy our perfect home 4. No longer refer to XH by XH, instead being able to refer to him as Loving Devoted Husband within one year. (reasonable I think)
I really worry about the lack of useless conversations with XH, when we talk I feel it is so serious all the time. We should have conversations that do not pertain to anything in particular right? Just fun, light conversations. I don't know, I think I will call him later and meow like a cat just to get a giggle from him. As far as my weight loss is going I am already at a plateau, granted I have noticed my body is getting a little firmer but the scale has not moved. URGH. Very discouraging!
thanks to all for your support!
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
How are you ladies doing?
He told Xh that he has not shown it in over a week and that the next option for them to do is to lease it out. So it is just me but is this a bad idea? If they lease it that would be the opposite of what him and Ow want. From what I understand, the purpose of them selling their house is to break the tie that binds them together. Xh asked my opionion on this and I honestly didn't have one. I asked him what he thought, his words to me " Well Halo, we still have what 4 months until your lease is up so how about I just keep it on the market for the next few months, we can still look for our house." 
