Detachment, anxiety and the end of limbo

[Painter]

Oh Phoebe, I can hear the pain in your voice. It is such a traumatic event, the betrayal and deceit. I hear some anger, too, though, and I'm glad you're taking action with L's.

Can you discuss with your L to approach WH with an agreement that is more in your favor? After all, going to court is a real risk - he is not going to be guaranteed to get everything he wants. Judges have a lot of discretion.

Also, could you possibly fight jurisdiction?

On the personal side... I missed those things you describe during most of my marriage. It was the reason WH felt I was never happy with him - he rarely showed any affection, and didn't very often touch me in a non-sexual way, and I needed that. I was so starved for affection and that may be what I'm so sad about now - that I waited so long for it and now it's never going to happen.

I am amazed that your H could do that until the very end. But I guess some people are able to compartmentalize like that. It must be very odd to live with that, almost disassociated.

It's 1am here and I had too much chocolate ice cream so I'm pretty wide awake.