At the moment I'm too scared to go on to other people's threads as I want to believe that my sich will have a positive response and it disheartens me to see other people going through the same hell as me with little light at the end of the tunnel.
That sounds like the ostrich sticking their head in the sand approach. You won't get anywhere that way.
You need some help my friend. You need some knowledge about what you should be doing. You need some support to help you through the dark moments. You may need some medical assistance as the emotional turmoil can quickly intertwine with the physical well being.
I am knocking you over the head with a 2x4 my friend because the train is coming right at you and you are frozen in place.
Please, get up, get moving, start doing what is needed to heal. Watch the Ted Talk by Guy Winch right now. 20 minutes. You need to understand that only you can start the healing process. Do it for your kids right now if you can't do it for yourself.
Cmon now. You can do it, but only if you want to.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
it disheartens me to see other people going through the same hell as me with little light at the end of the tunnel.
I find reading other people's situations gives me strength to know that there are others like me that can fight through this hell and emerge on the other side.
I find posting to others gives me insight into my own needs and goals.
I urge you to more deeply consider the potential benefits.
Kyle, go back and read the first part of my sitch... Mine started out with no A, which turned into an EA that lasted three weeks before I found out... I will tell you that my sitch has every opportunity I could of ever asked to work out... There is A LOT of good advice on my thread, Sandi2 and Wonka spent a lot of time working on it..
You and I are similar, so I really think it would help you. Just click on my name on the left, then view posts, go to the last page of my posts and start there... You can read it knowing it has every chance at being a success.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
So I know it's not advised to speak with mutual friends when it comes to my current sich but I have just got off the phone and had a rather interesting conversation.
My W has finely "opened up" regarding her decision and what she has said is nothing short of a joke. She is certain she is no longer in love with me and that she fought to try and make it work, when challenged on this she said that she fought inwardly for a whole 2 months, 2 MONTHS! Apparently an 8 year relationship is only worth 2 months of inner conflict before she kicks me out the house. She went on to say that it wouldn't bother her if I was to start up a relationship with someone else and she is 100% certain she will never change her mind.
Well let's see how she feels when she is the person being left behind, when she is left feeling abandond. I'm done crying, I'm done losing sleep questioning everything that's going on. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life and if she doesn't want to be a part of it then it's her loss.
Sorry if this post is a bit of a rant but I'm offended by her lack of commitment in our marriage.
Kyle, they say all kinds of nonsense. Mine sure does. She fights her feelings for me, and then will say something like "we tried everything" when I know "we" didn't try much at all. The one time I showed her I was willing to drop everything, she had the exact same feelings I did when she left.
I was angry when I read Sandi's posts and realized I was eating crumbs and being taken advantage of for favors. It kicked my butt into action, and gave me great confidence. Why? It's easy to see a lot of things, but very hard to act. I hope this anger gets you into action!
Me: 35 W: 32 S: 4 T: 6 M: 4 Physical Separation official: 5/21 Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son
Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
Kyle, I'm glad to hear you have anger, it means your at least moving forward, but don't take that to mean that your over it. Right or wrong, you will feel many emotions, and they will flip flop back and forth. But use that anger positively, channel it to working out and exercising, but rest assured it will not last. You WILL feel sad again, and you will be angry again.. It's completely normal.
That's why it's so important you don't act when emotional, if your angry or sad, don't have conversations with your W, listen, validate, say you it's important you think about what she said before you give a response... Do NOT act when emotional, you will have level headed time to make decisions..l
Did you read part 1 of my sitch?
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Thank you guys for your responses, this has to be the catalyst to get me up and moving.
I won't act on emotions with my W because I do not intend on talking to her unless she reaches out to me, which she hasn't done to date. From here on out any conversation I have with her is purely kid related and I'm going to view her as just another person on this planet.
