Time to Love and discover myself

[NYGal]

Pink: "One time during the party he asked me to add some more food to one of my main dish and as I was doing it he said: "Pink, I still love you so much, you have no idea". Then I said: "No I have no idea and I do not want to think about it either. Stop with the BS because you left me and I do not want to talk about." He asked me do not do this to him, that it was not fair with him, and I looked at him and said that it is what it is XH, you wanted it, now you have it."
NYGal: Pink, we need to talk. Did you see the email from MWD today about being kind? Are you really that angry at XH still, or do you still want him back? I'm sorry, but you catch more flies with honey, honey!

From MWD:
Hi,

Sometimes, when your marriage is on the rocks, you start to wonder how relationship goals that require two people's active participation apply to you.

That's why I decided to write 10 Marriage Saving Strategies You Can Do Alone! for those people who don't have the luxury of their partner's support.

Here are ten goals that you can accomplish yourself!


1. Envision positive outcomes

There is no way that you can begin to accomplish positive change in your marriage if you don't believe it is possible.

Start by imagining what your life will be like when your marriage truly turns a corner.

The more you can picture every detail, the easier it will be to eventually step into this picture at some later date.

2. Act as if you expect positive outcomes

Once you can imagine positive outcomes, reflect on how you will be behaving differently when they happen. Then start doing that right now!

3. Be kind, even if you think your spouse doesn't deserve it

You may be angry, disappointed, or even devastated by your spouse's choices and actions. However, rather than react to unsettling behavior, assume your spouse is lost and confused.

Be patient, kind and steady and your efforts will pay off.

4. Focus on small, positive changes

Don't expect big changes overnight or you will be disappointed and it will make it hard to stay on track.

Imagine the smallest change possible that would signal a shift in how things have been going.

Then focus on that.

5. Promise yourself that you will have a great future, no matter what

You can not control what your spouse does, but you can control what you decide to do with yourself and your children, if you have them.

Take a deep breath and envision how you are going to create a great future, regardless of your spouse's choices.

6. Exercise your worry away

I live in Boulder and the people here take this to heart!

Take a walk, get some exercise to become more fit.

Exercise can be a lifesaver. It helps to assuage worries, feel good about yourself and increase feel-good hormones like endorphins.

Go for it!

7. Do one new thing you enjoy

Don't become stale just because you are having a shaky time in your marriage. Novelty will stimulate your brain and maybe even your heart and help you have a more positive outlook about the future.

8. Make sure you have quality time with your children or other loved ones. Be present.

Many times, when people are teetering on the brink of divorce, their pain makes them become self-absorbed and staying in the moment becomes a challenging task.

You will never be able to do your children's childhood again, so do your best to be with them mentally when you're with them.

9. If you get off track, get back on quickly without self-blame

What separates the winners from the losers is not whether or how many times you get off track, it's how rapidly you get back on track.

If you've veered from the Divorce Busting® plan, hop right back on track without self-recrimination.

10. Do activities that help you rediscover serenity

Meditate, pray, hike in the mountains or watch a sky full of shooting stars.

On a regular basis, do whatever it takes to bring you back to yourself.

You and everyone around will benefit from your peacefulness.



All my best,



Michele
I'm certainly no expert in MLC, and you may know best. Just my two cents worth.