Chapter 2, She moved out - I win! I think

[bigybiz]

SadHub:

You make some excellent points and ask awesome questions.

To answer your last question 1st. What did I win. Well I think if the W does not come back, I'm ready. I have my home full of my kids, I have a renewed faith, a fit body, a whole bunch of new hobbies and habits. I really don't know what she has that's as good as a house full of kids, love, a garden, etc.

So all in all I win - considering Sept - Dec 2015, I was a desperate, needy, little <insert your fav bad word here>.

I guess one issue the online form has we don't get to see each other as an entire picture.

But, to answer your other question - Yes, I'm keeping busy - but I'm taking on more and more. Yes, she has said to me that she notices changes.

So I'm not going from one thing to another. It's more of a new trajectory. It's a brand new me.

Yes, the internal things are the hardest. As I've learned most of those start with an action:

Forgiveness is a decision - we will still slip - but we made the decision to forgive.

Love is a commitment (not that of 20 year old's where passion, etc is the driving factor).

ON and ON.

Once we have decided to make these changes - the hard part comes. It's far easier to carry a grudge than to forgive.

Here, you are so right. I do think that for these internal facets,characteristics. - we need to make consistent moves forward and maybe the WW/WAW will see real change - in 20 months.

I love having kids, etc to myself. She walked away from this. But I have a heart that is ready for to come back.

Until then, I'm on a new trajectory. But some habits are hard to kick. So that's why I ask for help.